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TPO 06 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v.1

TPO 06 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v. 1
It has been found that the majority of prisoners are indulging themselves in the criminal activities after serving the punishments. This phenomenon is observed due to the fact that they are unable to secure a job upon their release. So that providing employment opportunities to them would change this occurrence. The most compelling reasons for the re-involvement in the crimes is that they find it hard to get a job upon release. Most of the employers have been verifying there applicant’s profile including police records. For example, as per the law, if one person is applying for a vacancy in the UK, they have to submit a police clearance certificate along with the application. Therefore, those who have served prison for the offence they did found it difficult to get shortlisted for the job. As a result, these ex-criminals remain unemployed and commit further crimes to feed themselves and their family. To tackle this problem, the governments should provide employment opportunities to these people. This can be achieved by following simple ways. Firstly, they should be taught some skills such as, plumbing and computing during their time in prison which can help them to start their own business. Secondly, the government should provide a financial aid to establish their start-ups and to make them self-employed. These strategies, for instance, have been successfully implemented in the USA since 2000. In conclusion, the person who has served prison punishment due to their offence find it difficult to secure a job upon release and to survive in this unemployed situation they often involve in to the criminal activities again. Thus, the governments should intervene their condition and provide them with the skills and support to start their own business.
It has
been found
that the majority of prisoners are indulging themselves in the criminal activities after serving the punishments. This phenomenon
is observed
due to the fact that they are unable to secure a
job
upon their release.
So that
providing employment opportunities to them would
change
this occurrence.

The most compelling reasons for the re-involvement in the crimes is that they find it
hard
to
get
a
job
upon release. Most of the employers have been verifying there applicant’s profile including police records.
For example
, as per the law, if one person is applying for a vacancy in the UK, they
have to
submit a police clearance certificate along with the application.
Therefore
, those who have served prison for the
offence
they did
found
it difficult to
get
shortlisted for the
job
.
As a result
, these ex-criminals remain unemployed and commit
further
crimes to feed themselves and their family.

To tackle this problem, the
governments
should provide employment opportunities to these
people
. This can
be achieved
by following simple ways.
Firstly
, they should
be taught
some
skills
such as, plumbing and computing during their time in prison which can
help
them to
start
their
own
business.
Secondly
, the
government
should provide a financial aid to establish their
start
-ups and to
make
them self-employed. These strategies,
for instance
, have been
successfully
implemented in the USA since 2000.

In conclusion
, the person who has served prison punishment due to their
offence
find it difficult to secure a
job
upon release and to survive in this unemployed situation they
often
involve in to the criminal activities again.
Thus
, the
governments
should intervene their condition and provide them with the
skills
and support to
start
their
own
business.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay TPO 06 - Question 3The woman expresses her opinion about the proposal that her friend Tim made in his letter to the newspaper. State her opinion about his proposal and explain the reasons she gives for her opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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