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IELTS ESSAY - Nowadays, students find it hard to study at universities compared to school studies. Why this is happening. What is the solution to this problem? v.2

IELTS ESSAY - Nowadays, students find it hard to study at universities compared to school studies. Why this is happening. What is the solution to this problem? v. 2
It is universally acknowledged that a lot of students feel difficult in learning when they move from high schools to universities or colleges. There are several reasons for this phenomenon and some measures should be put to reality so as to tackle the problem. It is obvious that the discrepancies in learning styles and lifestyles may be two main reasons for this issue. First of all, in terms of learning ways, the lack of teachers’ management may lead to the diminish in their learning performances. To illustrate, in Vietnam, students in high schools learn a lot of theories, formulas and do homeworks and their teachers evaluate them via these homeworks and tests, therefore, when they enroll courses in universities, they cannot deal with case studies, presentations without the support of teachers. The second cause is that attending universities, students have the freedom to do whatever they want. Indeed, instead of learning at schools and coming back homes with parents, almost students in universities stay away from their homes, so they have more time to hang out with friends, take part-time jobs or become volunteers, which leads to the lack of concentration on study. In order to cope with this problem, both the Ministry of Education and individuals should take some steps. Firstly, it is evident that the Ministry of Education should improve teaching method in high school syllabus. If they design new teaching method like providing more teamwork activities, researching real case studies, and so forth, which can foster students’ autonomy, and their students can be able to adopt new learning environment in universities because of this. The second way is that students should set up scientific schedules for themselves. Owing to timetables, students may organize their daily routine logically and clearly, in the long term, they can balance their study as well as other activities, therefore, learners may not only enhance their academic performances but also become well-disciplined citizens. In conclusion, I believe that because of the difference in learning styles and lifestyles, students fell study at universities is rather hard than high school. That the reasons why both relative bodies and learners should have some actions to counter this issue.
It is
universally
acknowledged that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel difficult in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges. There are several reasons for this phenomenon and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures should
be put
to reality
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
tackle the problem.

It is obvious that the discrepancies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
styles and lifestyles may be two main reasons for this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
ways, the lack of teachers’ management may lead to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'diminish' is correct. If 'diminish' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the diminish
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
performances. To illustrate, in Vietnam,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
theories, formulas and do
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
and their teachers evaluate them via these
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
,
therefore
, when they enroll courses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, they cannot deal with case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, presentations without the support of teachers. The second cause is that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the freedom to do whatever they want.
Indeed
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and coming back homes with parents, almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
stay away from their homes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have more time to hang out with friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
-time jobs or become volunteers, which leads to the lack of concentration on study.

In order to cope with this problem, both the Ministry of Education and individuals should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps.
Firstly
, it is evident that the Ministry of Education should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
teaching method in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus. If they design new teaching method like providing more teamwork activities, researching real case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth, which can foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
autonomy, and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be able to adopt new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
environment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
because of this
. The second way is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should set up scientific schedules for themselves. Owing to timetables,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may organize their daily routine
logically
and
clearly
, in the long term, they can balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
as well
as other activities,
therefore
, learners may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance their academic performances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become well-disciplined citizens.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
styles and lifestyles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
fell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. That the reasons why both relative bodies and learners should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions to counter this issue.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay IELTS ESSAY - Nowadays, students find it hard to study at universities compared to school studies. Why this is happening. What is the solution to this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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