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Do you think there will be a greater choice of food available in shops in the future, or will there be less choice? What effects has modern technology had on the way food is produced? How important is it for a country to be able to grow all the food it need v.1

Do you think there will be a greater choice of food available in shops in the future, or will there be less choice? What effects has modern technology had on the way food is produced? How important is it for a country to be able to grow all the food it need v. 1
Many countries have a staff shortage in medicine and other fields requiring a great deal of training. At the same term, there may be a lack of unskilled and semi-skilled workers, like cleaners or drivers. The gap in skilled professions is partly due to time and money: the training for a nurse e or doctor takes several years and is very expensive. These are features that do not bode well for people coming from the developing world, since interests in this part of the world, is more reliant on short term benefits, rather than the long wait that ensues after enrolling in protracted and extended courses. Future needs cannot be predicted very accurately, so it is hard to ensure that enough people are trained. Many individuals and countries simply cannot afford the training. Some governments have tackled that problem by determining what subjects students should study. This ensures that enough lawyers, teachers and so on are trained. One drawback, however, is that it ignores the differences in people's s motivation and aptitude and may mean that people will have to settle for Jobs that they are just not made for- for example, someone who might have been an excellent dentist has become a mediocre accountant instead. A shortage may also result from variation in the cost of living in my country, only a handful of the public sector employees, such as police officers, can afford accommodation in the more affluent regions, resulting in ever-increasing staff shortages in those areas. The problem can be alleviated, though only to a limited extent, by subsidizing housing for certain workers. As the level of education rises, fewer people are willing to take on menial work. The unpleasantness of such work could be recognized through higher wages, although this would require a transformation of the country ' s economy, a whole. To conclude, shortages are probably inevitable, although fields and geographical areas where they occur are likely to change from time to time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
in medicine and other fields requiring a great deal of training. At the same term, there may be a lack of unskilled and semi-skilled workers, like cleaners or drivers.

The gap in skilled professions is partly due to time and money: the training for a nurse e or doctor takes several years and is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive. These are features that do not bode well for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from the developing world, since interests in this part of the world, is more reliant on short term benefits,
rather
than the long wait that ensues after enrolling in protracted and extended courses. Future needs cannot
be predicted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accurately
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to ensure that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trained
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
simply
cannot afford the training.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have tackled that problem by determining what subjects students should study. This ensures that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
lawyers, teachers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
are trained
. One drawback,
however
, is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the differences in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's s motivation and aptitude and may mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
settle for Jobs that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not made for-
for example
, someone who might have been an excellent dentist has become a mediocre accountant
instead
.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
may
also
result from variation in the cost of living in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a handful of the public sector employees, such as police officers, can afford accommodation in the more affluent regions, resulting in ever-increasing staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortages
in those areas. The problem can
be alleviated
, though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to a limited extent, by subsidizing housing for certain workers.

As the level of education rises, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to take on menial work. The unpleasantness of such work could
be recognized
through higher wages, although this would require a transformation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
s economy, a whole.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortages
are
probably
inevitable, although fields and geographical areas where they occur are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from time to time
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Do you think there will be a greater choice of food available in shops in the future, or will there be less choice? What effects has modern technology had on the way food is produced? How important is it for a country to be able to grow all the food it need v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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