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influence of human`s on world`s ecosystem is leading to extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. what are the causes of loss of bio-diversity? what solutions can you suggest? v.1

influence of human`s on world`s ecosystem is leading to extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. what are the causes of loss of bio-diversity? what solutions can you suggest? v. 1
The activities of human beings have been detrimental for some species resulting in their disappearance, the industrial wastes are the main reason and an immediate intervention may solve the problems. The main cause of pollution resulting in loss of bio-diversity are the industrial wastes. We, human beings have installed factories and industries for our own benefit, the wastes from these factories which contain harmful chemicals are released into rivers and the sea. Consequently, the marine life is affected and has resulted in the extinction of several species of marine animals. For instance, while walking besides the beach in industrial area, we can witness many dead animals who have been killed as a result of chemicals added from industrial wastes. Another issue contributing to the greenhouse effect is the carbon dioxide released from combustion of fuel in cars. We have witnessed an increase in the purchase of cars in last few decades, besides old cars which are not serviced at regular intervals are mainly responsible for incomplete combustion of fuels and produce even more harmful chemicals. The increase in concentration of these harmful gases in the atmosphere has resulted in acid rain, which has caused destruction of fauna and flora. Moreover, deforestation is another aggravating factor, where human beings are cutting trees for their own usage. Forests play an important part in reducing pollution by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen, but man has destroyed the trees as well. The loss of biodiversity can have disastrous consequences, so measures have to be taken to reduce pollution. The most important step would be through the government legislation on industrial wastes. Heavy fines should be imposed on factories not treating their harmful chemical waste or even shut down. Moreover, the government should allocate funds for research into saving endangered species and promote international cooperation with the neighbouring countries. People may be encouraged to use environmentally friendly vehicles like electric cars and old worn out cars should be disposed of. In conclusion, the loss of certain species in the ecosystem and food chain in the long term will create problems for human beings as well, as is witnessed by the increase in incidence of cancers amongst us.
The activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings have been detrimental for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species resulting in their disappearance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
are the main reason and an immediate intervention may solve the problems.

The main cause of pollution resulting in loss of bio-diversity are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
. We,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings have installed factories and industries for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
from these factories which contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
are released
into rivers and the sea.
Consequently
, the marine life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and has resulted in the extinction of several species of marine animals.
For instance
, while walking
besides
the beach in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
area, we can witness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dead animals who have
been killed
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
wastes.

Another issue contributing to the greenhouse effect is the carbon dioxide released from combustion of fuel in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. We have witnessed an increase in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in last few decades,
besides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which are not serviced at regular intervals are
mainly
responsible for incomplete combustion of fuels and produce even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
. The increase in concentration of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
gases in the atmosphere has resulted in acid rain, which has caused destruction of fauna and flora.
Moreover
, deforestation is another aggravating factor, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings are cutting trees for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
usage. Forests play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in reducing pollution by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the trees
as well
.

The loss of biodiversity can have disastrous consequences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step would be through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
legislation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
. Heavy fines should
be imposed
on factories not treating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
or even shut down.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate funds for research into saving endangered species and promote international cooperation with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
environmentally
friendly vehicles like electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
worn out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be disposed
of.

In conclusion
, the loss of certain species in the ecosystem and food chain in the long term will create problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings
as well
, as
is witnessed
by the increase in incidence of cancers amongst us.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay influence of human`s on world`s ecosystem is leading to extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. what are the causes of loss of bio-diversity? what solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
363 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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