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Plants can provide food, shelter, clothing, or medicine. What is one kind of plant that is important to you or the people in your country? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v.1

Plants can provide food, shelter, clothing, or medicine. What is one kind of plant that is important to you or the people in your country? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1
Recently, it has been observed that experienced people are competing with the young people for the same job in the company. In this essay, I intend to delve into the reasons behind this fierce competition and advice solution that companies can adopt. First of all, experienced persons are considered as an asset to an organisation because of their rich years of working and skills they have gained over a period of time. Many times because of their experience and skills, they solved critical situations and won projects for their organisation, which is almost impossible for the inexperienced person, as they have just joined it and don't have required experience and skills to get them involved in decision making. That is why, organisations always employ the senior people for critical positions in the company. To add further, senior people are more mature, calm and polite and are in a better position to deal with rude customers as compared to young people who are aggressive in nature and can make the matter worse. Although, young people have less experience and skills, but, they are energetic and vibrant and organisations make sure that under the leadership of trustworthy mentor they can develop their skills and contribute towards an organisation's growth. To conclude, although mature people have a deep understanding of the business and better decision making and problem solving skills, but the role of young people is equally important and the business should assign them a senior mentor for their overall growth in the company.
Recently, it has
been observed
that experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are competing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the same job in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. In this essay, I intend to delve into the reasons behind this fierce competition and advice solution that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can adopt.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, experienced persons
are considered
as an asset to an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their rich years of working and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
they have gained over a period of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they solved critical situations and won projects for their
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, which is almost impossible for the inexperienced person, as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
it and don't have required experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them involved in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
That is
why,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
always employ the senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for critical positions in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
further
, senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more mature, calm and polite and are in a better position to deal with rude customers as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are aggressive in nature and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the matter worse. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they are energetic and vibrant and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that under the leadership of trustworthy mentor they can develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and contribute towards an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
's growth.

To conclude
, although mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a deep understanding of the business and better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and the business should assign them a senior mentor for their
overall
growth in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Plants can provide food, shelter, clothing, or medicine. What is one kind of plant that is important to you or the people in your country? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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