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How do you like to spend your leisure time? Choose a leisure activity and explain why you like to do it. Include detalis and examples in your explanation. v.1

How do you like to spend your leisure time? Choose a leisure activity and explain why you like to do it. Include detalis and examples in your explanation. v. 1
Comfortable road movements used to be the dream of many people, but today it is a standard part of our reality. Consequently, major cities that serve as our hosts experience a greater amount of gridlock. I believe this problem can be blamed for the existence of many car owners in those areas, and I am of the opinion that solving this issue would require the attention of the government. Large city's house many vehicle owners. On a daily basis, these people want to commute comfortably without having to wait long hours at bus stations. With all those speed vehicles zipping on a high speed through the motorways, a stop at any point would amount to nothing but a cluster of vehicles. Lagos State, Nigeria, for example, is one of those suffering in this regard. Travelling from one suburb to another might take up to three long hours - an unusual amount of time to spend on in-town movements. This is a clear picture of how some cities suffer congestion. Solving this problem would require an interplay between regulations and technology. Political leaders might need to consider introducing alternative means of transportation as well as employing experts, who use compass to monitor and direct road traffic. This will not only discourage people from their over dependence on the motorways, but also usher in a new dimension in the ways that people move around. For instance, China is constructing a high-speed train system to help move people to their destinations as well as sway their eyes from car usage. In conclusion, I think the congestion experienced in numerous major cities is as a result of many car owners. If there is a reciprocal relationship between the use of technology and government policies, road traffic problems would be a thing in the history.
Comfortable road movements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be the dream of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is a standard part of our reality.
Consequently
, major cities that serve as our hosts experience a greater amount of gridlock. I believe this problem can
be blamed
for the existence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
car owners in those areas, and I am of the opinion that solving this issue would require the attention of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Large city's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vehicle owners. On a daily basis, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to commute
comfortably
without having to wait long hours at bus stations. With all those speed vehicles zipping on a high speed through the motorways, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
at any point would amount to nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a cluster of vehicles. Lagos State, Nigeria,
for example
, is one of those suffering in this regard. Travelling from one suburb to another might take up to three long hours
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
an unusual amount of time to spend on in-town movements. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
picture of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities suffer congestion.

Solving this problem would require an interplay between regulations and technology. Political leaders might need to consider introducing alternative means of transportation
as well
as employing experts, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
compass to monitor and direct road traffic. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their over dependence on the motorways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
usher in a new dimension in the ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around.
For instance
, China is constructing a high-speed train system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their destinations
as well
as sway their eyes from car usage.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the congestion experienced in numerous major cities is
as a result
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
car owners. If there is a reciprocal relationship between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policies, road traffic problems would be a thing in the history.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay How do you like to spend your leisure time? Choose a leisure activity and explain why you like to do it. Include detalis and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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