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How do movies or television influence peoples behavior, use reason and specific example. to support your answer v.2

How do movies or television influence peoples behavior, use reason and specific example. to support your answer v. 2
The television has several good and bad effects on people’s behavior. In following essay I will explain some major influences of television or movie on people’s behavior. Firstly, people are tries to follow as they seen on television or in movies. Every movie reflects some conclusion and this conclusion is always spread good thought. But these thoughts are come from various types of bad thoughts; many people are follows this good thought as well as bad. The movies are depending on particular stories which are depending on crime base, various use of technology, ghost stories. Many people’s are trying to follow the crime story and tries to play a real character in real life and they do a serious crime in their life. But when we talk about entertainment then television or movies are the best way to entertain any person, he/she can spend lots of time without boring. Second, as we see in our every day’s life there are many people’s are addicted television. In India may of house wife’s are addicted by family drama serials; they are spend their much time to watch various types of serials. They also try to follow the serial in present life and result of that is destroying many families. In my village women watch a particular serial in that the wife has an affair with another man. The women also make that type of affair, but after certain days the woman' s husband got information about her affair and he gives divers to her. From that we can say that the addiction of television spoils people’s life. In other hand television provides latest updated knowledge and the current affair in the world. Third, many people’s follows the style of movies hero, like their clothing style, their hair style also follows the walking and behavior style of hero. Many people are also tries to keep their body as like movies heroes. And the result of that they improves their style of living. I my case, I’m following my super hero Salman Khan (He is one of the famous film hero) tries to maintain my fitness and living style like him. In conclusion, the television is the best way of entertainment also; it gives us updated knowledge, current affairs in the world as well as the information about the latest technology invented. In opposition it is cause of destroying many families, also people tries to follow crime story in movies and get spoil their life. It is also the waste of much time when people watch movies.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on
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people’s
behavior. In following essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major influences of
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television
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
behavior.

Firstly
,
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people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
reflects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conclusion and this conclusion is always spread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from various types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
which
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
base, various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology, ghost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
are trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tries
to play a real character in real
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they do a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we talk about entertainment then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are the best way to entertain any person, he/she can spend lots of time without boring.

Second, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in our every day’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
are addicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. In India may of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
wife’s
are addicted
by family drama
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serials
; they are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
their much time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serials
. They
also
try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serial
in present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and result of
that is
destroying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families. In my village women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serial
in that the wife has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affair
with another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. The women
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affair
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after certain days the
Possible spelling mistake found.
woman&
#039; s husband
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
information about her
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affair and
he gives divers to her. From that we can say that the addiction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
spoils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
provides latest updated knowledge and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affair
in the world.

Third,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
hero, like their clothing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
, their hair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follows
the walking and behavior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of hero.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body as like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
heroes. And the result of that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "improve"
improves
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of living. I my case, I’m following my super hero Salman Khan (He is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
film hero)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tries
to maintain my fitness and living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
like him.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the best way of entertainment
also
; it gives us updated knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affairs
in the world
as well
as the information about the latest technology invented. In
The comma is probably missing here: "opposition, it".
opposition it
is cause of destroying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families,
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
spoil their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
also
the waste of much time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
73Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay How do movies or television influence peoples behavior, use reason and specific example. to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
423 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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