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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income v. 2
It has been suggested that when applying any job, people tend to focus most on salary condition. While I consider there are more factors should be prioritized equal with or rather than the contracted income. It is agreed that high income and benefit job would attract more applicants as this, in somewhat extent, raise one' s lives or even their whole family, for examples, pay for accommodation bills, transportation bills, etc. Additionally, in terms of social life, with a modern gadgets purchased supported by high income, a person could advertises their luxury life with the others through social media, and then their net workings would be expanded which gets them new employment opportunities. However, beside high salary, I personally take more attention on job satisfaction which affects not only on physical health but also mental health. Firstly, a happy attitude on job would make a working day, which take one third hours everyday, more effective and efficient. That emotion encourages for the creation and renovation in each person then the whole corporation would be better along with their employees. Secondly, for those high pressure positions, keeping a satisfaction would be a key feature to overcome certain overtime hours, tight deadlines and even tough stakeholders. Moreover, relationship with colleges also put a crucial point in one' s career strategy. As currently, teamwork isn' t the stranger definition with anyone, a perfect teamwork would help the project processing smoothly and recover errors promptly. In conclusion, the high salary is one of the most important things when anyone thinks of on their career path. But, there are numbers of concerns should be took into account equally in one' s consideration.
It has
been suggested
that when applying any
job
,
people
tend to focus most on salary condition. While I consider there are more factors should
be prioritized
equal with or
rather
than the contracted income.

It is
agreed
that
high
income and benefit
job
would attract more applicants as this, in somewhat extent, raise
one&
#039; s
lives
or even their whole family, for examples, pay for accommodation bills, transportation bills, etc.
Additionally
, in terms of social life, with a modern
gadgets
purchased
supported by
high
income, a person could
advertises
their luxury life with the others through social media, and then their net workings would
be expanded
which
gets
them new employment opportunities.

However
, beside
high
salary, I
personally
take more attention on
job
satisfaction which affects not
only
on physical health
but
also
mental health.
Firstly
, a happy attitude on
job
would
make
a working day, which take one third hours
everyday
, more effective and efficient. That emotion encourages for the creation and renovation in each person then the whole corporation would be better along with their employees.
Secondly
, for those
high
pressure positions, keeping a satisfaction would be a key feature to overcome certain overtime hours, tight deadlines and even tough stakeholders.
Moreover
, relationship with colleges
also
put a crucial point in
one&
#039; s career strategy. As
currently
, teamwork
isn&
#039; t the stranger definition with anyone, a perfect teamwork would
help
the project processing
smoothly
and recover errors
promptly
.

In conclusion
, the
high
salary is one of the most
important
things when anyone
thinks
of on their career path.
But
, there are numbers of concerns should be
took
into account
equally
in
one&
#039; s consideration.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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