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Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. Discuss Both Views And Give Your Own Opinion. v.2

Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. v. 2
The severe penalties for people breaking the law in driving on road always provide a lot of benefits for road safety and besides, other measures also yield remarkable results. In my opinion, both of them also work together to keep safety. On the one hand, the strick punishments force people to focus their attention to driving carefully, which helps them not be fined. Driving offences can be judged with many varied level of violation such as a fine, imprisonment or a driving ban. Someone doesn’t realize how dangerous the crashes will be when they happen to others who also present on the road. In this case, that may make drivers be aware of complying with the traffic regulations. On the other hand, there are many ways to tackle problems of traffic as opposed to punishing severely. Firstly, government should pass a law requiring seriously progress in instruct somebody who want to get a driving licence. Secondly, most schools request students to attend lessons involved in traffic laws as a compulsory part. Finally, it is important to heighten rinhabitants’s awareness of driving safely due to the fact that a mistake can lead to the crashes or worse results. In conclusion, keeping road safe is the responsibility of all citizens, not only drivers; so the combination of punishments and safety measures is much more beneficial.
The severe penalties for
people
breaking the law in
driving
on
road
always provide
a lot of
benefits for
road
safety and
besides
, other measures
also
yield remarkable results. In my opinion, both of them
also
work together to
keep
safety.

On the one hand, the
strick
punishments force
people
to focus their attention to
driving
carefully
, which
helps
them not
be fined
.
Driving
offences
can
be judged
with
many
varied level of violation such as a fine, imprisonment or a
driving
ban. Someone doesn’t realize how
dangerous
the crashes will be when they happen to others who
also
present on the
road
.
In this case
, that may
make
drivers be aware of complying with the traffic regulations.

On the other hand
, there are
many
ways to tackle problems of traffic as opposed to punishing
severely
.
Firstly
,
government
should pass a law requiring
seriously
progress in instruct somebody who want to
get
a
driving
licence
.
Secondly
, most schools request students to attend lessons involved in traffic laws as a compulsory part.
Finally
, it is
important
to heighten
rinhabitants
’s awareness of
driving
safely
due to the fact that a mistake can lead to the crashes or worse results.

In conclusion
, keeping
road
safe is the responsibility of all citizens, not
only
drivers;
so
the combination of punishments and safety measures is much more beneficial.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some People Think That Strick Punishments For Driving Offences Are The Key To Reducing Traffic Accidents. Others, However, Believe That Other Measures Would Be More Effective In Improving Road Safety. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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