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International travel has many advantages to both travellers and the country that they visited Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages v.2

International travel has many advantages to both travellers and the country that they visited Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 2
In recent decades there has been a substantial diversification in international tourism destinations, and many countries have experienced phenomenal growth in tourist arrivals. While it is true that this industry has brought both benefits and drawbacks, I believe that the advantages are outweighed by the negative consequences of this development. The idea that, both travellers and host country benefit enourmously from international travel. Firstly, tourists have opportunities to enjoy a whale of a time in forein country. they will be rewarded by natural areas of a beauty which cannot be experienced in their homeland or they are able to acquire a wide range of local traditions and customs. Secondly, global tourism is associated with developing in economy of host country. As international travel companies expand to meet the rising in demand for tourists, more jobs are created within communities, reducing the unemployment figures, leading to the increasing in prosperity. On the other hand, it seems to me that the drawbacks which raise cause for concern outweigh the benefits. In terms of the visitors themselves, they are often overcharged everything from a taxi, a meal in a restaurant or buying souvenirs with grossly inflated prices. From the host country perspective, tourism is the main cause for environmental degradation. Because of unregulated constructions of hotels and tourist attractions, a great deal of trees were cut down, leading to ecological imbalance as well as speeding up the process of global warming. many beach resorts in Thailand and Malaysia, for instance, have become concrete jungles of high-rise hotels and apartments to accommodate mass tourism from Europe. In conclusion, I will restate my view again that there are more disadvantages of international travel for both travelllers and host countries than the good aspects.
In recent decades there has been a substantial diversification in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
destinations, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have experienced phenomenal growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
arrivals. While it is true that this industry has brought both benefits and drawbacks, I believe that the advantages
are outweighed
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this development.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that, both
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
benefit
Possible spelling mistake found.
enourmously
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
have opportunities to enjoy a whale of a time in
Possible spelling mistake found.
forein
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
will
be rewarded
by natural areas of a beauty which cannot
be experienced
in their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
homeland or
they are able to acquire a wide range of local traditions and customs.
Secondly
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is associated
with developing in economy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
expand to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the rising in demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, more jobs
are created
within communities, reducing the unemployment figures, leading to the increasing in prosperity.

On the other hand
, it seems to me that the drawbacks which raise cause for concern outweigh the benefits. In terms of the visitors themselves, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
overcharged everything from a taxi, a meal in a restaurant or buying souvenirs with
grossly
inflated prices. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the main cause for environmental degradation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of unregulated constructions of hotels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions, a great deal of trees
Possible agreement error
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down, leading to ecological imbalance
as well
as speeding up the process of global warming.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
beach resorts in Thailand and Malaysia,
for instance
, have become concrete jungles of high-rise hotels and apartments to accommodate mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
from Europe.

In conclusion
, I will restate my view again that there are more disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel for both
Possible spelling mistake found.
travelllers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
aspects.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay International travel has many advantages to both travellers and the country that they visited Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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