Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Hosting international sporting competitions is good. but few people think this causes too many problems. explain both views and tell your opinion. v.1

Hosting international sporting competitions is good. but few people think this causes too many problems. explain both views and tell your opinion. v. 1
In recent times, a lot of International sports tournaments are taking place all over the world to discover and encourage growing talents. While some argue that this move is creating problems rather than any good, other group of people argue that this is a great initiative and I also agree with this side of the argument. On the one hand, many feel that hosting games on a global scale is a waste of time and money. They believe that money should be spent more on national interests like fighting poverty or building better infrastructure for the country which will benefit the society. Especially for people belonging to those underdeveloped countries that are struggling to meet even the basic necessities, these kind of activities seems to be a lavish affair. They would rather prefer wealthy nations to provide them with monitory help rather than enjoying and spending huge amount of cash for these so called unwanted affairs. On the other hand, there are another set of people whose opinion is exact opposite. They consider these events as a platform to promote different games and thereby maintaining a healthy relationship across different countries. This brings the whole world together as they cheer for their own participants and at the same time create a sense of nationalism which in turn is a postive aspect. Moreover, this kind of global events attracts a lot of tourists to which ever country that is hosting there by improving the economy and income. For instance, 2012 World Cup Cricket held in India helped to generate a revenue of around 1. 2 million only by selling the tickets. Another aspect is the improvement in sports facilities that comes as a bonus along with the event which helps lot of young children to start taking sports seriously. In conclusion, it is always good to have a healthy relationship between countries and global sports competitions can be considered as one of the best ways to ensure this. In my opinion, all nations should make a point to host at least two events in twenty years.
In recent times,
Possible agreement error. The noun International seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of Internationals".
a lot of International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournaments are taking place all over the world to discover and encourage growing talents. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
is creating problems
rather
than any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, other group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this is a great initiative and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this side of the argument.

On the one hand,
Possible agreement error. The noun feel seems to be countable; consider using: "many feels".
many feel
that hosting games on a global scale is a waste of time and money. They believe that money should
be spent
more on national interests like fighting poverty or building better infrastructure for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which will benefit the society.
Especially
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
belonging to those underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
even the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of activities seems to be a lavish affair. They would
rather
prefer wealthy nations to provide them with monitory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
rather
than enjoying and spending huge amount of cash for these
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
unwanted affairs.

On the other hand
, there are another set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose opinion is exact opposite. They consider these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as a platform to promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games and thereby maintaining a healthy relationship across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This brings the whole world together as they cheer for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
participants and at the same time create a sense of nationalism which in turn is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
aspect.
Moreover
, this kind of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists to which ever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that is
hosting there by improving the economy and income.
For instance
, 2012 World Cup Cricket held in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to generate a revenue of around 1. 2 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by selling the tickets. Another aspect is the improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as a bonus along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
young children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
seriously
.

In conclusion
, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have a healthy relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions can
be considered
as one of the best ways to ensure this. In my opinion, all nations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a point to host at least two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in twenty years.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Hosting international sporting competitions is good. but few people think this causes too many problems. explain both views and tell your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts