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High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v.2

High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v. 2
Jobs nowadays are much more competitive and demanding than they used to be. This forces people to go to work when they are sick, sometimes even unable to work at all. The answer to the question of whether people should go to work during illness is a topic of debate. In my opinion, it is not a wise decision to go work while someone is sick, because it may lead to severe consequences. In order to have a successful career it is important to work hard, no matter how stressful the job is. If someone is ill, first it should be determined how ill they are. If it is not very serious and they are able to work, then they should not sit at home. But if there is a prospect of having a serious health problem then they should avoid work for as long as they need to recover. Because the stress they have to endure at work can worsen the situation which may prevent them from working for even a longer period of time. This will nullify the point of going to work during illness. Another important factor we have to keep in mind is whether the disease can spread among the people around the sick person. If that is the case, then not only the bearers but also their colleagues will have to suffer. Furthermore, if the sick person has a job that demands physical labor, then it is likely that going to work is going to have a negative impact on his/her health. So in conclusion, when people are sick, it is important for them to take time to recover for both their own sake and their coworkers.
Jobs nowadays are much more competitive and demanding than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be.
Did you mean "these"?
This
forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when they are sick,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at all. The answer to
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during illness is a topic of debate. In my opinion, it is not a wise decision to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while someone is sick,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may lead to severe consequences.

In order to have a successful career it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, no matter how stressful the job is. If someone is ill,
first
it should
be determined
how ill they are. If it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
serious and
they are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, then they should not sit at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if there is a prospect of having a serious health problem then they should avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for as long as they need to recover.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
endure at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can worsen the situation which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from working for even a longer period of time. This will nullify the point of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during illness.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind is whether the disease can spread among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the sick person. If
that is
the case, then not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the bearers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their colleagues will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer.
Furthermore
, if the sick person has a job that demands physical labor, then it is likely that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is going to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on his/her health.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in conclusion
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are sick, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to take time to recover for both their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake and their coworkers.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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