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TOEFL sample essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. do you support or oppose the factory? explain your position. v.1

TOEFL sample essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. do you support or oppose the factory? explain your position. v. 1
I am glad to hear that it was merely a wish of the company to build a large factory near my community. It would not be feasible to start this plan, as my community is dense with reridents where lots of olds ang youths who need to be taken care of. Compaerd with teh benefit it may birng to us, I believe more people in my community would agree with my stand that I do not support this factory. I will address my views thereinafter. To begin with, the community I live in locates in the northern of the urban where major residents live, thus the road is crowded with people. There is no sufficient space to build a largr factory in my community. Also, a large community would bring more people here to work, which in my opinion it is not a politic idea to locates the new factory here, as it would not be convinient to transport products and there would be more conflicts between the residents and the factory, as most of the people in my community like my have been living in this place for decades without any facotory here and we like the environment around us. Moreover, maybe it would bring an increase in employment in my comunity while the most adult in my community worked in other place of my city. and it would be a hard mission to employ workers here as most of the residents who at the suitable age for working have jobs already, ther others are old people and youths at schools. New workers would be recruited far away, the cost of commuting and renting houses would be their extra expense if the company build a large factory here. Finally, there is a serious air pollution in my city, thus the Municipal government enacted a rule years ago that no factory would be built in the urban of the city due to the air pollution and traffic issues, the goverment had planned a specific region in the suburban of my city for new factories. Thus the plan of the company which wished to build a large factory would noe be taken into practice. Besides, once the government wanted to build a new library in my community, while this idea was strongly argued by the residents, as we are living near our province' library, there is no need and no space to build another one. Let alone the factory mentions in this essay. In all, it is true that a new large factories means more jobs and oppurtunities for people, while in my community, it would be impossible to build a new facotry as there is no mature incidence to support this plan. What' s more, as a resident in my community I share the same idea with majority neighbuors. We all do not want to live near a large factory where there would be more inconvinience to our daily life.
I am glad to hear that it was
merely
a wish of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
near my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. It would not be feasible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
this plan, as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is dense with
Possible spelling mistake found.
reridents
where lots of olds ang youths who need to
be taken
care of.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Compaerd
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
teh
benefit it may
Possible spelling mistake found.
birng
to us, I believe more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with my stand that I do not support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
. I will address my views
Possible spelling mistake found.
thereinafter
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in locates in
the northern of the urban where major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
thus
the road
is crowded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There is no sufficient space to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
largr
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Also
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
would bring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
here to work, which in my opinion it is not a politic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to locates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
here, as it would not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
to transport products and there would be more conflicts between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
, as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
like my have been living in this place for decades without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
facotory
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
here and
we like
Consider using "the surrounding environment".
the environment around us
.

Moreover
, maybe it would bring an increase in employment in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
comunity
while the most adult in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
worked in other place of my city.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
mission to employ workers here as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
who at the suitable age for working have jobs already,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
others are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and youths at schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
workers would
be recruited
far away, the cost of commuting and renting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
would be their extra expense if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
here.

Finally
, there is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "serious air pollution".
a serious air pollution
in my city,
thus
the Municipal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
enacted a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
years ago that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
would
be built
in
The phrase 'the urban of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the urban of
the city due to the air pollution and traffic issues, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
had planned a specific region in the suburban of my city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the plan of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
which wished to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
would
Possible spelling mistake found.
noe
be taken
into practice.
Besides
, once the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
library in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, while this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
was
strongly
argued by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residents
, as we are living near our
Possible spelling mistake found.
province&
#039; library, there is no need and no space to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
another one.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
alone the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
mentions in this essay.

In all, it is true that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
means more jobs and
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, it would be impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
facotry
as there is no mature incidence to support this plan.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resident
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
I share the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
with majority
Possible spelling mistake found.
neighbuors
. We all do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
where there would be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
inconvinience
to our daily life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay TOEFL sample essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. do you support or oppose the factory? explain your position. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
490 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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