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As the number of cars increase, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the drivers should cover this cost. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.2

As the number of cars increase, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the drivers should cover this cost. v. 2
It is true that there is a lot of money has been spent on improving road systems to adapt to the increase in the number of cars nowadays. While some people think that cost should be covered by the government, I believe that the drivers should contribute partly. One the one hand, there is a variety of reasons why the cost of improving road systems should be spent by the government. Firstly, if this spending can be covered by the government budget, it means its inhabitants will have more money which can be used to allows them to adapt their basic human needs. For example, in many underprivileged countries where there are many people live under detrimental living benchmark, they can save a whole of money to buy foods for their families. The second reason is that augmenting infrastructures is the responsibility of the government. Its annual budgets have been contributed by every people through tax policies, therefore, it should be used for serving social needs. One the other hand, I believe that that spending should be devoted by drivers for some reason. Firstly, if it can be paid by the drivers, the government can focus its annual budget on other social needs. For example, in Vietnam, the drivers must buy ticket whenever they used free-ways. The government used that source of money to improving hospital quality. Consequently, people will have better health care systems. Furthermore, despite the road systems spending will cost the drivers a great deal, they will have well-constructed ways to use which means that they can drive safer, faster and save a whole of spare time to do what they want, like exercising or reading books to broaden their knowledge. In conclusion, although the way that road systems spending should be paid by the government is advantageous for some reason, it seems to me that it is better while the drivers contribute a part of that cost.
It is true that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has
been spent
on improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
to adapt to the increase in the number of cars nowadays. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
should
be covered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
should contribute partly.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there is a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
should
be spent
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Firstly
, if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
can
be covered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
budget, it means its inhabitants will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "allow".
allows
them to adapt their basic human needs.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underprivileged countries where there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under detrimental living benchmark, they can save a whole of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
foods for their families. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that augmenting infrastructures is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Its annual budgets have
been contributed
by every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through tax policies,
therefore
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for serving social needs.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, I believe that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
should
be devoted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
.
Firstly
, if it can
be paid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can focus its annual budget on other social needs.
For example
, in Vietnam, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
ticket whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
free-ways. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
that source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to improving hospital quality.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have better health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
.
Furthermore
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
a great deal, they will have well-constructed ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which means that they can drive safer, faster and save a whole of spare time to do what they want, like exercising or reading books to broaden their knowledge.

In conclusion
, although the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
should
be paid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is advantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, it seems to me that it is better while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
contribute a part of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay As the number of cars increase, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the drivers should cover this cost. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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