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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Before making a decision, it is important to find out if the decision will be popular with others. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v.445

Before making a decision, it is important to find out if the decision will be popular with others. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v. 445
At every point of life, we have to take decisions, some of which are easy as we are confident about them while some are difficult. In my opinion, before making a decision, it is not important to find out if the decision will be popular with others for two reasons. In my belief, decisions should be taken according to one' s convenience and need, and while deciding something, people should put their choices before anything else. Firstly, people should take decisions according to their convenience. There are times when people get distracted because of their surroundings and end up taking some decisions which they didn' t want to. Rather, people should surely look up in their surroundings for some directions but at the end should do what makes them feel confident and is in their convenience. For example, when I was in college, we had some objective subjects. In option we had Machine Learning and Cyber Security, and almost all of my friends were opting Machine Learning, which I didn' t know about at the time. I wanted to build up my career in computer security and at that time if I' d known about my friend' s decisions maybe I might have had changed my choice and might study a different subject, but then it would have become difficult for me to achieve my desired career choice. Secondly, while taking decisions people should keep themselves above anyone' s choices because at the end of the day, they have to deal with whatever is left with them. For instance, in college, if I would have taken Machine Learning instead of Cyber Security, though a great field, today I might not be a cloud security engineer. So, for achieving a goal it is important to take right decisions, instead of deciding something under peer pressure or finding out the most popular decision among others. Also, it is not important that whatever we decide, it always has to be right. There are many times when we make mistakes or go for the wrong choices but we get to learn so much from those wrong decisions too. For example, when I was in high school, I decided to study the advance level science while all of my friends were studying the basic level, which I was aware of. At the end of the semester, I didn' t score well but I did get to perform many different chemistry experiments which my friends didn' t do. Concluding my point, it is not important that you will always get a positive result from your decisions or if a large number of people are taking a common decision then it will be correct for you. It is a person' s responsibility to think for themselves and taking decision which benefits them before anyone else. Also, there are some times when people have to make decisions according to their society or due to some situations and it looks like what everyone is deciding is correct and should agree with them. There is no harm in finding out if one' s decision is popular among others and if so, agreeing on that. People should listen to their instincts and experience while making decisions.
At every point of life, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which are easy as we are confident about them while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are difficult. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to find out if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
will be popular with others for two reasons. In my belief,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
should
be taken
according to
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s convenience and need, and while deciding something,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
anything else.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
according to their convenience. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their surroundings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
up taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
which they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t want to.
Rather
,
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people
should
surely
look up in their surroundings for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
directions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
should do what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel confident and is in their convenience.
For example
, when I was in college, we had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
objective subjects. In
The comma is probably missing here: "option, we".
option we
had Machine Learning and Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
, and almost all of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
were opting Machine Learning, which I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t know about at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I wanted to build up my career in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
if
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; d known about my
Possible spelling mistake found.
friend&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
maybe I might have had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
and might study a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it would have become difficult for me to achieve my desired career choice.

Secondly
, while taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves above
Possible spelling mistake found.
anyone&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the day, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with whatever is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with them.
For instance
, in college, if I
Did you mean "had taken"?
would have taken
Machine Learning
instead
of Cyber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Security
, though a great field,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
I might not be a cloud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
engineer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for achieving a goal it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to take right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
,
instead
of deciding something under peer pressure or finding out the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
among others.
Also
, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that whatever we decide, it always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be right. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes or go for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much from those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
too.
For example
, when I was in high school, I decided to study the advance level science while all of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
were studying the basic level, which I was aware of. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the semester, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t score well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
chemistry experiments which my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t do.

Concluding my point, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that you will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
result from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
or if
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
then it will be correct for you. It is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
for themselves and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
which benefits them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
anyone else.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
according to their society or due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations and it looks like what everyone is deciding is correct and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. There is no harm in finding out if
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is popular among others and if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, agreeing on that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should listen to their instincts and experience while making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Before making a decision, it is important to find out if the decision will be popular with others. Use examples and reasons to support your position. v. 445

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
535 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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