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High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v.1

High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v. 1
It is true that there are always the inevitable ups and downs in life and some even argue that difficulties like job dissatisfaction or poverty are acceptable. This idea provokes strong arguments, which I will discuss here. On the one hand, those who support the idea of accepting bad circumstances claim that this appears to happen to almost everyone on a universal level. In the workplace, for instance, many employees and workers are likely to have a tendency towards disliking their current jobs due to lots of reasons ranging from low paycheck, extremely high pressure to inappropriate working context. However, such people frequently face a dilemma of whether to put themselves and their family at risk of hunger or homelessness or to continue their unsatisfactory positions. This is particularly true in the present economic situation. Hence, to the supporters of allowing unwanted situations, these viewpoints are convincing. However, I tend to side with those who argue that it is possible to change our undesirable status. People who refuse to make any improvements or changes to a bad situation seems to be too afraid to step out of their comfort zone, and it is impossible for them to see the opportunities rather than obstacles and difficulties. For example, a decision to resign from my 9-to-5 office desk job was one of the most rewarding actions that I have ever made in life which leads to a completely satisfactory new career path as a full-time teacher. Again, I do believe that if an individual is not satisfied with their current circumstances, such as work or financial issue, he or she could definitely improve their objectionable reality by starting working on their lifelong dream on a daily basis instead of worrying about failure or being unemployed. In conclusion, I can understand why some people might accept their bad situations and hardship, but it seems to me that it is far more beneficial to chase your dreams rather than be obsessive about work or money.
It is true that there are always the inevitable ups and downs in life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even argue that difficulties like job dissatisfaction or poverty are acceptable. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
provokes strong arguments, which I will discuss here.

On the one hand, those who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of accepting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstances claim that this appears to happen to almost everyone on a universal level. In the workplace,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees and workers are likely to have a tendency towards disliking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
jobs due to lots of reasons ranging from low paycheck,
extremely
high pressure to inappropriate working context.
However
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
frequently
face a dilemma of whether to put themselves and their family at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of hunger or homelessness or to continue their unsatisfactory positions. This is
particularly
true in the present economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
Hence
, to the supporters of allowing unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
, these viewpoints are convincing.

However
, I tend to side with those who argue that it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our undesirable status.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who refuse to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any improvements or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
seems to be too afraid to step out of their comfort zone, and it is impossible for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the opportunities
rather
than obstacles and difficulties.
For example
, a decision to resign from my 9-to-5 office desk job was one of the most rewarding actions that I have ever made in life which leads to a completely satisfactory new career path as a full-time teacher. Again, I do believe that if an individual is not satisfied with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
circumstances, such as work or financial issue, he or she could definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their objectionable reality by starting working on their lifelong dream on a daily basis
instead
of worrying about failure or
being unemployed
.

In conclusion
, I can understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might accept their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
and hardship,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me that it is far more beneficial to chase your dreams
rather
than be obsessive about work or money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay High job demands stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill This way they accomplish important tasks but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves In your opinion should people go t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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