Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Health condition is the way to influence the behavior of human being? Do you agree with this topic or not v.1

Health condition is the way to influence the behavior of human being? Do you agree with this topic or not v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that the one who works persistently always leads to a fruitful and secure life. Some people opine that obtaining promotions is a humongous factor in making people execute duties effortlessly. This essay will highlight why people usually perform intensely to obtain a higher position in a job and which other aspects are also considered in such process. To begin with, promotions are considered a crucial component that guide employees to perform exceptionally. In other words, promotions mean an escalated revenue, which aids in solving financial burden of the family as well as maintaining a higher social status in the society. To cite an example, 57% of employees perform duties extra hours to impress their seniors which aids in allocating a higher position to them in the company. Provided that, it is straightforward to say that the people perform earnestly to raise their placement and wages. Nevertheless, the rewards and appreciation programs also assist the people in working intensely than ever before. People usually enjoy such recompense as well as attention, and are determined to operate diligently if provided with such opportunities. Won’t you do the same if given a chance? For instance, Airtel Company in India conducts small program monthly to distribute funds to the dedicated worker, and provide holiday entitlements and other facilities. Provided that, all employees are fully satisfied with such management, and the company is benefitted by 1 million dollars annually. Therefore, it is the responsibility of employers to look after and support their hired man to perform effortlessly. In conclusion, although promotions is assumed as a crucial factor in producing hard working employees in the company. However, other facilities too helps in such situation and should be given equal concern.
It is an undeniable fact that the one who works
persistently
always leads to a fruitful and secure life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that obtaining promotions is a humongous factor in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
execute duties
effortlessly
. This essay will highlight why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
intensely
to obtain a higher position in a job and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects are
also
considered in such process.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, promotions
are considered
a crucial component that guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
exceptionally
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, promotions mean an escalated revenue, which aids in solving financial burden of the family
as well
as maintaining a higher social status in the society. To cite an example, 57% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
duties extra hours to impress their seniors which aids in allocating a higher position to them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Provided that, it is straightforward to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
earnestly
to raise their placement and wages.

Nevertheless
, the rewards and appreciation programs
also
assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in working
Use "(intensely)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
intensely
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
enjoy such recompense
as well
as attention, and
are determined
to operate
diligently
if provided with such opportunities. Won’t you do the same if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance?
For instance
, Airtel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
in India conducts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
program monthly to distribute funds to the dedicated worker, and provide holiday entitlements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities. Provided that, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are
fully
satisfied with such management, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
by 1 million dollars
annually
.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of employers to look after and support their hired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
effortlessly
.

In conclusion
, although promotions
is assumed
as a crucial factor in producing
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in such situation and should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal concern.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Health condition is the way to influence the behavior of human being? Do you agree with this topic or not v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts