Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

he charts below show the percentage water used for different purposed in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

he charts below show the percentage water used for different purposed in six areas of the world.
Nowadays, many people are interested towards vehicles which are attractive and also fashionable items like jewellery and trendy clothes. But, the caring towards the family or work related aspects are drastically coming down with which there is an increase in the divorce cases and worsening the bonds. Firstly, public view regarding the materialistic things and also the trendy items must be according to their needs but not to their greeds. This change can bring many changes in one's life. For example, one can spend more time spending with their family members, by focusing on their needs through eradicating their distraction on extra things which are not that important in life when compared to family and relationships. Secondly, one should keep in mind that, it is unnecessary to crave for things which are not permanent in their lives. These cravings don't only distract us from relationships, but also tempt us to spend more money, which will at last become useless if they are more than a need. For example, keeping an eye on extra things will obviously make us spend money more, through which there is a chance to loose control on spending money. And also, this will make people more optimistic. Summarizing the above points, though the trendy items attract us to focus more than need, they will adversely affect one's common life by seperating them with their partners or family. This obsession will also lead us through spending more money than needed. I conclude that our ethics and values are becoming disintegrating, which is an adverse effect on society.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are interested
towards vehicles which are attractive and
also
fashionable items like
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and trendy clothes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the caring towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or work related aspects are
drastically
coming down with which there is an increase in the divorce cases and worsening the bonds.

Firstly
, public view regarding the materialistic things and
also
the trendy items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be according to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
greeds
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in one's life.
For example
, one can spend more time spending with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, by focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
through eradicating their distraction on extra things which are not that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in life when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and relationships.

Secondly
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind that, it is unnecessary to crave for things which are not permanent in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. These cravings don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
distract us from relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
tempt us to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, which will at last become useless if they are more than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
For example
, keeping an eye on extra things will
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
more, through which there is a chance to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
control on spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. And
also
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more optimistic.

Summarizing the above points, though the trendy items attract us to focus more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, they will
adversely
affect one's common life by
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperating
them with their partners or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This obsession will
also
lead us through spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than needed. I conclude that our ethics and values are becoming disintegrating, which is an adverse effect on society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay he charts below show the percentage water used for different purposed in six areas of the world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts