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the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006 v.1

the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006 v. 1
Some experts believe that the raise the price of fuel such as petrol and diesel is the best way to tackle environmental pollution. In my opinion, I firmly believe that there is the best solution to solve the problem of the environment; some other possible solutions will be elaborated. Admittedly, If fuel prices increases then uses of traffic will reduce that will curb environmental pollution. As cars and motorbikes are the main sources of greenhouse gases and urban pollution, excessive use of cars releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which is harmful to the environment and badly affects the ozone layer. If the price of petrol in hiked, individuals will start to use their cars less often and this in return can decrease the rate of air pollution. On the other hand, by increasing fuel prices people will turn to alternative sources which are environment-friendly. For instance, instead of the use of a private car, the rising price of petrol can be caused the majority of the people use much more public transportation. People will invest in renewable energy sources such as wind, solar panels, and tide rather than non-renewable sources like coal and petrol. For example, the United States have proven their efficiency in energy production. Second, the government can encourage more people to use public transport, this practice can help clean the environment and reduce traffic. In conclusion, increasing the price of petrol can be an effective factor to reduce environmental pollution. People will use alternative sources and renewable energies, the government should also take serious actions by encouraging public transports for solving these problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that the raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of fuel such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and diesel is the best way to tackle environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. In my opinion, I
firmly
believe that there is the best solution to solve the problem of the environment;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other possible solutions will
be elaborated
.

Admittedly
, If fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
increases then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of traffic will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
that will curb environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and motorbikes are the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of greenhouse gases and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which is harmful to the environment and
badly
affects the ozone layer. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
in hiked, individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and this in return can decrease the rate of air pollution.

On the other hand
, by increasing fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will turn to alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
which are environment-friendly.
For instance
,
instead
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
can
be caused
the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
much more public transportation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will invest in renewable energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as wind, solar panels, and tide
rather
than non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
like coal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
For example
, the United States have proven their efficiency in energy production. Second, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport, this practice can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
clean the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic.

In conclusion
, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
can be an effective factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
and renewable energies, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
take serious actions by encouraging public transports for solving these problems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006 v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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