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50)Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.1

50)Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1
Delivering a message to the society would be a dream for a many individuals, but due to the interference of government, a group of innovative people finds it difficult to establish their personal views. On the one hand, it is obvious that most of the governments are keen on promoting national unity among their nation, but movies or songs are a vital platform for a person to trier cultural clashes within the people. To be precise, an individual part of a particular religion or culture with hate on other religions will generate media that directly discriminates other cultures and eventually this would wreak havoc upon the residents of nations. Moreover, as the materials are generated by the talented artists are viewed by members of all groups, it is essential for the authorities of the country to observe and place barriers according to their content. For example, contents like porn, sexual violence and graphic contents are factors that play an important role in the development of today’s youth. In contrast, many citizens of the state are not aware of the flaws that goes within the administration of the country. In other words, a part of the community will be concerned with alerting the local people regarding the political strategies through images or video clips, but the involvement of a nation’s authority would prevent this from occurring. Therefore, some inhabitants are finding it difficult to share their views due to the fear they have in their local administrations. In conclusion, it will be beneficial if the population is allowed to display their ideas without any obstacles, but when considering the advancement of the nation and ensuring the peace among, the people It is a must to place restrictions.
Delivering a message to the society would be a dream for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to the interference of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, a group of innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
finds it difficult to establish their personal views.

On the one hand, it is obvious that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are keen on promoting national unity among their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
movies or songs are a vital platform for a person to trier cultural clashes within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To be precise, an individual part of a particular religion or culture with hate on other religions will generate media that
directly
discriminates other cultures and
eventually
this would wreak havoc upon the residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Moreover
, as the materials
are generated
by the talented artists
are viewed
by members of all groups, it is essential for the authorities of the country to observe and place barriers according to their content.
For example
, contents like porn, sexual violence and graphic contents are factors that play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens of the state are not aware of the flaws that goes within the administration of the country.
In other words
, a part of the community will
be concerned
with alerting the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding the political strategies through images or video clips,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the involvement of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
authority would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this from occurring.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inhabitants are finding it difficult to share their views due to the fear they have in their local administrations.

In conclusion
, it will be beneficial if the population is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to display their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
without any obstacles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when considering the advancement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and ensuring the peace among, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
It is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
place restrictions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 50)Some people like to do only what they already do well. Other people prefer to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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