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Having good academic qualification and diploma guarantees people a good job. to what extent do you Agree or disagree? v.1

Having good academic qualification and diploma guarantees people a good job. v. 1
To date, it seems previously irrefutable that the academic diploma contained in one's repertoire inevitably assures individuals access to a steady job. While I accept this viewpoint, I do believe that there are other external and internal factors determining a good job in most cases. As a rule, it is broadly accepted that the university education involves a wealth of experience and academic know-how contributing to a good job. After having received higher education people, thus, may certainly increase their track record and become elite individuals convincingly boosting their employability over others. Therefore, it is absurd to say that the academic diploma is not of any significance on the procedure for applying for a desired job. By contrast, however, I feel that the communication and presentation skills people should necessarily possess play a crucial role in the application for a desired job. Journalists, for example, should tentatively enhance a range of personal aptitudes including emotional intelligence, analytical thinking and charisma to appeal to the audience, since otherwise they have no way of being distinguished and recognized by their supervisors although they have a university diploma. Another point to consider, should there be an exuberance of university graduates in a particular domain, people, then, will not be able to effortlessly obtain a good job. Specifically, this creates a fierce competitive ambience- among those people who do have academic qualification-in the job market they are supposed to enter. To sum up, even though I may agree that the academic qualification is an essential incentive in order to receive an approval for a job on the one stage, I am convinced that a command of social skills and the demand on the job market are the main factors determinant of a good job.
To date, it seems previously irrefutable that the
academic
diploma contained in one's repertoire
inevitably
assures individuals access to a steady
job
. While I accept this viewpoint, I do believe that there are other external and internal factors determining a
good
job
in most cases
.

As a
rule
, it is
broadly
accepted
that the university education involves a wealth of experience and
academic
know-how contributing to a
good
job
. After having received higher education
people
,
thus
, may
certainly
increase their
track
record and become elite individuals
convincingly
boosting their employability over others.
Therefore
, it is absurd to say that the
academic
diploma is not of any significance on the procedure for applying for a desired job.

By contrast,
however
, I feel that the communication and presentation
skills
people
should
necessarily
possess play a crucial role in the application for a desired
job
. Journalists,
for example
, should
tentatively
enhance a range of personal aptitudes including emotional intelligence, analytical thinking and charisma to appeal to the audience, since
otherwise
they have no way of
being distinguished
and recognized by their supervisors although they have a university diploma. Another point to consider, should there be an exuberance of university graduates in a particular domain,
people
, then, will not be able to
effortlessly
obtain a
good
job
.
Specifically
, this creates a fierce competitive ambience- among those
people
who do have
academic
qualification-in the
job
market they
are supposed
to enter.

To sum up,
even though
I may
agree
that the
academic
qualification is an essential incentive in order to receive an approval for a
job
on the one stage, I
am convinced
that a command of social
skills
and the demand on the
job
market are the main factors determinant of a
good
job
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Having good academic qualification and diploma guarantees people a good job. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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