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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with this situation. v.1

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with this situation. v. 1
These days, the fact that juvenile delinquency is rife provokes a great deal of concerns in public. It is undeniable that the problem can be attributed to a whole host of reasons; yet I believe that there are several pragmatic approaches can be capitalized to tackle this issue. There are a variety of factors contributing to the growth of the young criminals. First, with the questionable contents being at their disposal on the Internet, young people have an excessive exposure to inappropriate programs, resulting in the development of their virtue. In fact, immersing themselves in too much violent movies and ferocious games and imitating the violent scenes could be the main culprits for aggressiveness, which makes them be inclined to address all their conflict by violence. Secondly, since adolescents are not enough mature and knowledgeable to appreciate all risks of proscribed drugs or the full weight of the law, they is likely to potential targets of drug dealers or law- breakers. According to recent studies, after using drugs, the brains of teenagers are prone to follow the antisocial people who give them prohibited objectives and willing to commit crimes Nevertheless, there are still workable solutions to address this conundrum. First, boosting a thorough censorship process in most games and programs serving children and teenagers, authorities could have chance to curb the exposure of children to the harmful contents. Additionally, parents play an integral role to place restricted on the likelihood of the access brutal topics of their offspring. They should introduce the limitation on the watching time and what their children was allowed to engage and encourage them to enjoy educational and outdoor activities with well-adjust peers. Second, if governments take strong measures to be tough on crime on drug dealers, the number of juvenile crimes is likely to fall. For example, drug dealers and buyers will be sent to prisons and socially isolated, which acts as a deterrent to anyone in the society In conclusion, notwithstanding the ever-increasing crime rate in the teenager, feasible solutions should be taken into consideration. By educating young people properly, governments could alleviate significant the rate of young offenders
These days, the fact that juvenile delinquency is rife provokes a great deal of concerns in public. It is undeniable that the problem can
be attributed
to a whole host of reasons;
yet
I believe that there are several pragmatic approaches can
be capitalized
to tackle this issue.

There are a variety of factors contributing to the growth of the
young
criminals.

First
, with the questionable contents being at their disposal on the Internet,
young
people
have an excessive exposure to inappropriate programs, resulting in the development of their virtue. In fact, immersing themselves in too much violent movies and ferocious games and imitating the violent scenes could be the main culprits for aggressiveness, which
makes
them
be inclined
to address all their conflict by violence.
Secondly
, since adolescents are not
enough
mature and knowledgeable to appreciate all
risks
of proscribed
drugs
or the full weight of the law, they
is
likely to potential targets of
drug
dealers or law- breakers. According to recent studies, after using
drugs
, the brains of
teenagers
are prone to follow the antisocial
people
who give them prohibited objectives and willing to commit
crimes


Nevertheless
, there are
still
workable
solutions to address this conundrum.
First
, boosting a thorough censorship process in most games and programs serving children and
teenagers
, authorities could have chance to curb the exposure of children to the harmful contents.
Additionally
, parents play an integral role to place restricted on the likelihood of the access brutal topics of their offspring. They should introduce the limitation on the watching time and what their children was
allowed
to engage and encourage them to enjoy educational and outdoor activities with well-adjust peers. Second, if
governments
take strong measures to be tough on crime on
drug
dealers, the number of juvenile crimes is likely to fall.
For example
,
drug
dealers and buyers will be
sent
to prisons and
socially
isolated, which acts as a deterrent to anyone in the
society


In conclusion
, notwithstanding the ever-increasing crime rate in the
teenager
, feasible solutions should
be taken
into consideration. By educating
young
people
properly
,
governments
could alleviate significant the rate of
young
offenders
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. What do you think is the reason for a growth in the rate of juvenile crime? What solutions can be offer to deal with this situation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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