Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 2
Although it is sometimes thought that animals ought to stay unexploited by humans, others believe that they should be used for numerous human purposes. In my opinion, I consider that animals’ safety is important and that is why people should not exploit them. On the one hand, some people think that well-being of a human is paramount, thus life and needs of a mankind should be prioritized over the animals’ rights. In other words, humanity tend to use animals in various ways to satisfy basic needs which, consequently, may lead to extinction of animals. To illustrate, some people serve them as food to overcome hunger, some corporations even use them as testing samples to observe reaction which some component may occur. Furthermore, being driven to exploit animals may be vital in order to survive in cold climatic zones where temperature degrees go as low as -50 Celsius. People are not able to exist in such temperatures without help of an animal, they frequently use animals’ fur and fat to get warmer. On the other hand, some people think that rights of animals should be taken into account, because otherwise number of endangered species will rise dramatically and I agree. The planet Earth is settled by billions of species such as humans, animals and plants. In that matter, moderate functioning is possible only when each of them is in balance. By that I emphasize importance, which animals bring into our life. For example, if snakes had not existed, other species would have not destroyed, as a result flora and fauna will be in danger. In addition, more and more people prefer to keep an animal such as cat or dog for living a versatile life full of adventures. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that animals’ rights and safety should be saved because their contribution for a well-being of a person is difficult to overestimate.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
ought to stay unexploited by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, others believe that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
purposes. In my opinion, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
safety is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not exploit them.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that well-being of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is paramount,
thus
life and needs of a mankind should
be prioritized
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
rights. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, humanity tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in various ways to satisfy basic needs which,
consequently
, may lead to extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
serve them as food to overcome hunger,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as testing samples to observe reaction which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
component may occur.
Furthermore
,
being driven
to exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
may be vital in order to survive in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climatic zones where temperature degrees go as low as -50 Celsius.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not able to exist in such temperatures without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
, they
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
fur and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
warmer.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that rights of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be taken
into account,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
otherwise
number of endangered species will rise
dramatically
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. The planet Earth
is settled
by billions of species such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants. In that matter, moderate functioning is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when each of them is in balance. By that I emphasize importance, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
bring into our life.
For example
, if snakes had not existed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species would have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
,
as a result
flora and fauna will be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
In addition
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
such as cat or dog for living a versatile life full of adventures.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
rights and safety should
be saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their contribution for a well-being of a person is difficult to overestimate.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts