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Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v.6

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 6
Children are unique and malleable upcoming generation. In young child' s life there is a major part of their grandparents in their upbringing. In my opinion, this is beneficial for the older people as well because they pass down their cultural values and take special care of their young ones. Firstly, elders always make sure to preach good moral values to their children. They find a sense of responsibility upon them to pass down the cultural values to next generation. Despite reluctance of their child, they make sure to imbibe the teachings which they have learnt from their ancestors. For instance, In a muslim family the knowledge of reading Arabic language is taught by the elders to their children from a very young age so that they can read the Holy Quran. This legacy passed on by the grandparents indeed bring them peace. Secondly, old people have a keen eyesight over their children. They always take special care of their younger children. They are not only the one' s who love them the most but also are the one' s to protect them from getting a beating from their parents. This extra attention brings energy for living and need to stay alive with their kid to see him grown up is always their desire. It is observed by many that elders always want to see their children succeed in their future, which brings them joy. Some are said to be awaiting to see their grandchildren' s wedding so that they live long enough. To sum up, In my view it is very much important for the children to be preached by their grandparents which in turn benefits them for passing down their legacy and love.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are unique and malleable upcoming generation. In young
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s life there is a major part of their grandparents in their upbringing. In my opinion, this is beneficial for the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pass down their cultural values and take special care of their young ones.

Firstly
, elders always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to preach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They find a sense of responsibility upon them to pass down the cultural values to
next
generation. Despite reluctance of their child, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to imbibe the teachings which they have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from their ancestors.
For instance
, In a
Possible spelling mistake found.
muslim
family the knowledge of reading Arabic language
is taught
by the elders to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can read the Holy Quran. This legacy passed on by the grandparents
indeed
bring them peace.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a keen eyesight over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They always take special care of their younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
them the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s to protect them from getting a beating from their parents. This extra attention brings energy for living and need to stay alive with their kid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him grown up is always their desire. It
is observed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that elders always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
succeed in their future, which brings them joy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are said
to be awaiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandchildren&
#039; s wedding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

To sum up, In my view it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be preached
by their grandparents which in turn benefits them for passing down their legacy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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