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Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children Do you think it is useful for grandparents Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples v.1

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children Do you think it is useful for grandparents Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples v. 1
The rate at which people participate in viewing sporting activities has been on the rise lately, with more people becoming fans of big events like the Olympics. While some people believe that this strategy will encourage more people to engage in workout often, others feel there are better, alternative ways of making them exercise. I, however, believe that a combination of both strategies is necessary for a successful incorporation of this habit. On the one hand, watching people play sports changes people's mindset about keeping fit. Most people in the society today are reluctant to train because they hold the view that working out is extremely boring and tasking. However, watching people perform these activities with excitement and ease, they get to have a complete change of mentality towards exercising. To illustrate, in a recent interview of over fifty people carrying out various forms of exercise on the a school's playground, about seventy percent admitted they never knew it could be such fun until they saw people carry out similar acts on TV. This goes to show the great influence viewing sporting events can have on encouraging people to work out. On the other hand, more effective methods for encouraging exercise exist. One of such include the offer of huge rewards to participants. People tend to engage in activities that are physically rewarding. By offering special prizes for completing certain schedules of an exercise, a state government can make the whole town to participate actively in exercising. Secondly, the creation of easily accessible training facilities is also another very effective strategy. When individuals know that they do not have to walk long distances to access a proper gym, they will definitely be motivated to train. However, in my opinion, I believe that for people to take exercise they should both watch others do it, while having access to the best training facilities there is. This is mainly because although these other methods will help them start the habit, watching these sports on TV will make them continue in the act indefinitely. . To sum up, seeing people play sports is one method of motivating others to start exercising. Other options include making exercising facilities easily accessible and rewarding participants. However, I believe a combination of both methods is crucial for maintaining a good working out culture.
The rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate in viewing sporting activities has been on the rise lately, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
becoming fans of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like the Olympics. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this strategy will encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in workout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, others feel there are better, alternative ways of making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. I,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a combination of both strategies is necessary for a successful incorporation of this habit.

On the one hand, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mindset about keeping fit. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are reluctant to train
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they hold the view that working out is
extremely
boring and tasking.
However
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perform these activities with excitement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to have a complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of mentality towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
. To illustrate, in a recent interview of over fifty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
carrying out various forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
school's playground, about seventy percent admitted they never knew it could be such fun until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
carry out similar acts on TV. This goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the great influence viewing sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can have on encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work out.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
exist. One of such include the offer of huge rewards to participants.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to engage in activities that are
physically
rewarding. By offering special prizes for completing certain schedules of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, a state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the whole town to participate
actively
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
.
Secondly
, the creation of
easily
accessible training facilities is
also
another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective strategy. When individuals know that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
walk long distances to access a proper gym, they will definitely
be motivated
to train.

However
, in my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
they should both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
others do it, while having access to the best training facilities there is. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the habit, watching these sports on TV will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them continue in the act
indefinitely
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


To sum up, seeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play sports is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of motivating others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
options include making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
facilities
easily
accessible and rewarding participants.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
a combination of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
is crucial for maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
working out culture.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children Do you think it is useful for grandparents Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
386 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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