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Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v.3

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 3
These days, the number of cars increasing continuously, and it is essential to promote the cars which run with the help of electricity and limit use of the cars that burn fossil fuels. I completely agree with the given statement and in this essay I will consider the reasons. First of all, all electric cars are environmentally friendly which means they do not emit harmful gases such as carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. As a result, air pollution will reduce. In addition, as there are less cars which depend on fossil fuels, the global warming would not be a considerable problem any longer. Electric cars do not contribute to the rise of global warming since they run only with electricity. For instance, Tesla cars are increasing in popularity, because many people are considering the environmental impact of the cars we have been using. Moreover, electric cars do not consume natural resources such as fossil fuels. That is why we can save natural resources for other purposes. The electricity is renewable, thus natural resources will not be damaged if we use electricity in our cars. As well as this, the electricity is much cheaper than fossil fuels. In other words, it would be affordable to drive our own cars at any time. In conclusion, I totally believe that replacing fossil fuel burning cars with electric cars would be a good option because electric cars are more environmentally friendly and do not use natural resources.
These days, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
increasing
continuously
, and it is essential to promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which run with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and limit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
that burn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement and in this essay I will consider the reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
environmentally
friendly which means they do not emit harmful gases such as carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
As a result
, air pollution will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
In addition
, as there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun cars is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, the global warming would not be a considerable problem any longer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
do not contribute to the rise of global warming since they run
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
.
For instance
, Tesla
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are increasing in popularity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are considering the environmental impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
we have been using.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
do not consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
That is
why we can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources for other purposes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is renewable,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources will not
be damaged
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
As well
as this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
is much cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
In other words
, it would be affordable to drive our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
at any time.

In conclusion
, I
totally
believe that replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electric
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are more
environmentally
friendly and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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