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Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v.2

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 2
Grandchildren have been raised with both the assistance of parents and grandparents. Spending time with their grandchildren would be a positive development for grandparents as these old individuals will be pleased to convey their expertise to their beloved ones and they will feel more amused with next to their grandchildren rather than spending time monotonously. First and foremost, grandparents who did not have time in their working ages for their children, now have a plenty of time to bring up their grandchildren, and it is a great pleasure for them. This is because in their retirement ages, they have abundant time, and with their superior life experience, they can happily advice their daughters or sons which would flourish the grandchildren vigorously. For instance, when a father’s tantrum towards his son due to his low grades is prevented by the grandfather, the young boy’s feelings will not be hurt with his father’s anger, and the grandfather will be happy as he have kept the peace in his son’s family. Consequently, grandparents can feel delighted when they contribute to the development of their grandkids and children. Apart from feeling blissful, grandparents feel amused when they take care of their grandchildren rather than feeling bored in their retirement days. Considering this, preparing the meal, helping the granddaughter with her homework and taking grandson to his school would be all exciting activities for grandparents rather than watching TV shows or knitting fabric. To illustrate, when a boy and his grandmother play hide and seek, they will probably both have a good time and she will be thrilled to be with her grandson instead of doing regular housework. As a result, grandparents will feel excited when they fill their time with interesting activities with their grandchildren rather than spending time with boredom. To sum up, it is clear that grandparents have a remarkable role in raising their grandkids. They will be joyful when they share their wisdom to correct their children’s mistakes and they will feel more than happy to spend time with their grandchildren rather than doing monotonous housetasks.
Grandchildren have
been raised
with both the assistance of parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their grandchildren would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
as these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
individuals will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
to convey their expertise to their beloved
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ones and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
more amused with
next
to their grandchildren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
monotonously
.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
who did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their working ages for their children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to bring up their grandchildren, and it is a great pleasure for them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in their retirement ages, they have abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and with their superior life experience, they can
happily
The word 'advise' is a noun. Did you mean "advise" (verb)?
advice
their daughters or sons which would flourish the grandchildren
vigorously
.
For instance
, when a father’s tantrum towards his son due to his low grades is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
by the grandfather, the young boy’s feelings will not
be hurt
with his father’s anger, and the grandfather will be happy as he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
the peace in his son’s family.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
delighted when they contribute to the development of their
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandkids
and children.

Apart from feeling blissful,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
amused when they take care of their grandchildren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than feeling bored in their retirement days. Considering this, preparing the meal, helping the granddaughter with her homework and taking grandson to his school would be all exciting activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or knitting fabric. To illustrate, when a boy and his grandmother play
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hide and seek
, they will
probably
both have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
she will
be thrilled
to be with her grandson
instead
of doing regular housework.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
excited when they fill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with interesting activities with their grandchildren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with boredom.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
have a remarkable role in raising their
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandkids
. They will be joyful when they share their wisdom to correct their children’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mistakes and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
more than happy to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their grandchildren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than doing monotonous
Possible spelling mistake found.
housetasks
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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