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Some people believe that punishment is the only purpose of prisons while others believe that prisons exist for various reasons Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that punishment is the only purpose of prisons while others believe that prisons exist for various reasons 1
There are different perspectives about the purposes of prisons. Some might claim that prisons are existed for punishment purposes whereas others believe that there are various reasons supported in a prison. This essay will discuss both perspectives before reaching a reasonable conclusion. Punishment is the most effective purpose for the existence of prisons. It is a good idea to gather all criminals in a governed and organised area to train them becoming a better societal member. While gather all criminals in one place and gave them the time to consider about their wrong doing behaviours. Usually most of criminals are jailed with long sentences and during which time, they could think about their past mistakes. Therefore, criminals can have time to consider about their mistakes and their wrong acts. However, prison exists for multifarious reasons such as rehabilitation, security and discipline is one of those reasons. Prisoners are locked up in cells to separate them from other citizens for security reasons. If they are not locked up in prisons, citizens would be living in fear for any possibilities of further crimes. Also, the government and authorities can control their behaviours to be able to be the better society member when prisoners are released from the prison. They can socialise with other society members without any trouble. I believe the prison should be existed for rehabilitation purposes mainly. Criminals can get punished by being in prison and can feel sympathy for victims but conducting rehabilitating programs would be the primary reasons. Since the prison has a limited capacity to take prisoners, it is important to ensure that criminals can get back to society as a member. From the government’s perspective, placing criminals in the prisons for the number of period can be considered as losing the nation’s asset. Therefore, it would be better for prisoners and the government’s perspective to release criminals after taken training programs. In conclusion, there are several reasons for the prisons existence. Criminals can be punished by being in the prisons but the rehabilitation can be considered as important. Due to the massive number of criminals cannot be placed in the existence prisons and it can be considered as losing the nation’s assets. Therefore, other reasons also valid for existence of prisons.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
might claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
are existed
for punishment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
whereas others believe that there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
supported in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. This essay will discuss both
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perspectives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

Punishment is the most effective
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purpose
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to gather all
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criminals
in a governed and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
area to train them becoming a better societal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
. While gather all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in one place and gave them the time to
Did you mean simply "consider their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Usually
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are jailed
with long sentences and during which time, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their past mistakes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can have time to
Did you mean simply "consider their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about their
mistakes and their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
acts.

However
,
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prison
exists for multifarious
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reasons
such as rehabilitation, security and discipline is one of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prisoners
are locked
up in cells to separate them from
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other
citizens for security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. If they are not locked up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
, citizens would be living in fear for any possibilities of
further
crimes.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and authorities can control their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to be able to be the better society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
are released
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. They can
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with
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other
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
without any trouble.

I believe the
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prison
should
be existed
for rehabilitation
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purposes
mainly
.
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Criminals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
punished by being in
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prison
and can feel sympathy for victims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
conducting rehabilitating programs would be the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
has a limited capacity to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to society as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
, placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
for the number of period can
be considered
as losing the nation’s asset.
Therefore
, it would be better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
after taken training programs.

In conclusion
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "prisons'" or "prison's"?
prisons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
can
be punished
by being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the rehabilitation can
be considered
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Due to the massive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
cannot
be placed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
and it can
be considered
as losing the nation’s assets.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
also
valid for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that punishment is the only purpose of prisons while others believe that prisons exist for various reasons 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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