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Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 1
Almost any day of the week you can look at a last news and read articles discussing government money. One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is spend more money of government on education or on sports and recreation. Discussing this controversial question it is impossible to give one well-defined answer for sure, however personally I tend to think that government should spend more money on tourism and sports. Firstly, it is well known that tourism is an one of the main source of money. For instance, now Dubai is the best tourism city in the world, moreover they survives from this. At the moment Dubai is very popular and beautiful center of recreation, furthermore everyone wanted visiting and relaxing there. Per year almost 2. 5 billion people visited this luxuorious city. If we also spend more money on tourism, we will earn a lot of money from center of recreation. On the other hand, it can also be argued that spending money on sports is also benefical to our country. What I mean here is that we must pay great attention on sports, because this side of republic not particularly developed and does not show good results. Take for example, our football clubs already can not participate on “FIFA World Cup” and “UEFA”. Why they can not participate? Because our goverment do not pay much attention on sports and so not spend more money. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in final analysis we can say that governments should spend more money on recreation and sports.
Almost any day of the week you can look at a last news and read articles discussing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. One of the
widely
discussed issues nowadays is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on education or on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and recreation. Discussing this controversial question it is impossible to give one well-defined answer for sure,
however
personally
I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and sports.

Firstly
, it is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
one of the main source of
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money
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Dubai is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
city in the world,
moreover
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "survive"
survives
from this. At the moment Dubai is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
center of recreation,
furthermore
everyone wanted visiting and relaxing there. Per year almost 2. 5 billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visited this
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luxuorious
city. If we
also
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spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, we will earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from center of recreation.

On the other hand
, it can
also
be argued
that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
to our country. What I mean here is that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay great attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this side of republic not
particularly
developed and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results. Take
for example
, our football clubs already can not participate on “FIFA World Cup” and “UEFA”. Why they can not participate?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
do not pay much attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more money.

In conclusion
, taking everything mentioned into account in final analysis we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on recreation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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