Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v.18

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 18
Nowadays, purchasing books, flight tickets and groceries online has become very famous. This essay will argue that the benefits of online shopping have more advantages as it reduces the shopping time and provides more variety of items online. One commonly disadvantage of online shopping is the questionable of the item purchased. It's very common now to see netizen complaining on their purchased items as it is not up their standard and different from what is being displayed on the website. For an example, now the majority of the online platform has the rating scale in which customer can rate their level of satisfaction and most of its rated below 3 stars. Despite this, there are a number of significant benefits to online shopping. First of all, it reduces the time spent on the road. We do not need to drive and go through traffic jam to reach the shopping mall. We can just purchase groceries or even flight ticket online from the comfort of home. Furthermore, there is more variety of items online. We could just type the keyword on the search engine, and there will be hundreds of items for us to choose from. For an example, thousands of school bags with different brands and design will be shown upon typing ‘school bag’ on the search engine. In conclusion, although there are drawbacks to online shopping, it is clear that purchasing an items online can save more time and provides more options to choose from. Therefore, I would argue that online shopping is beneficial to all.
Nowadays, purchasing books, flight tickets and groceries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
. This essay will argue that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have more advantages as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
time and provides more variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
online.

One
A verb is probably missing after 'commonly'.
commonly disadvantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
The phrase 'the questionable of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the questionable of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
. It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
netizen complaining on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
as it is not up their standard and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what is
being displayed
on the website. For an example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platform has the rating scale in which customer can rate their level of satisfaction and most of its rated below 3 stars.

Despite this, there are a number of significant benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the time spent on the road. We do not need to drive and go through traffic jam to reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall. We can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
groceries or even flight ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
from the comfort of home.

Furthermore
, there is more variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. We could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
type the keyword on the search engine, and there will be hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
for us to choose from. For an example, thousands of school bags with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands and design will
be shown
upon typing ‘school bag’ on the search engine.

In conclusion
, although there are drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that purchasing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can save more time and provides more options to choose from.
Therefore
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is beneficial to all.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? v. 18

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts