Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 1
Education is a basic building block of a nation. It is a single best investment countries can make to develop a healthy, prosperous and equitable society. Therefore, I firmly believe that the government should invest a higher proportion of money to improve the quality of education. Education plays a very vital role in this fast paced world. It is a core building block that helps any civilization to compete with other developing countries of the world. The more you invest in the education of the society, the more it becomes beneficial in broader perspective. Literate people helps in improving the economy and making such policies that can somehow mitigate the issues faced by the general public by utilizing their knowledge. Germany, For instance, invested an enormous amount of money on education after the Second World War. After being completely demolished, Germany is the fastest growing country in the field of Information Technology in this present era. Education is a powerful weapon that wipes out poverty, corruption, unemployment, recidivism and illiteracy. It teaches us basic manners, ethics, and other skills such as management, teamwork, communication. These things are the key aspect of an individual to become a good human being who can serve his/her nation for a very long period of time. Education is worth investing because the amount of money the government invests on the youth will pay them off later in the future when these young aspects become policy makers and take decisions for the betterment of the country. The government officials, therefore, should craft such policies that help in mitigating the rate of illiteracy from society and elevate the standard and quality of education in order to get a favourable outcome for the growth of the country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a basic building block of a nation. It is a single best investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
to develop a healthy, prosperous and equitable society.
Therefore
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest a higher proportion of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of education.

Education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world. It is a core building block that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
any civilization to compete with other developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world. The more you invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of the society, the more it becomes beneficial in broader perspective. Literate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
helps
in improving the economy and making such policies that can somehow mitigate the issues faced by the
Consider using "public".
general public
by utilizing their knowledge. Germany,
For instance
, invested an enormous amount of money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
after the Second World War. After being completely demolished, Germany is the fastest growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the field of Information Technology in this present era.

Education is a powerful weapon that wipes out poverty, corruption, unemployment, recidivism and illiteracy. It teaches us basic manners, ethics, and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as management, teamwork, communication. These things are the key aspect of an individual to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being who can serve his/her nation for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long period of time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is worth investing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the amount of money the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
invests on the youth will pay them off later in the future when these young aspects become
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
and take decisions for the betterment of the country.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials,
therefore
, should craft such policies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in mitigating the rate of illiteracy from society and elevate the standard and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
outcome for the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts