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Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. v. 1
According to many people, public funds should be allocated for public facilities such as schools and hospitals rather than art projects. Since the investment in theatres, painting, and sculptures are considered as unreasonable expenditure and waste of money. From my perspective, both arts and public facilities should be taken into the investment into account due to the equality of each position in our society. First and foremost, it cannot be denied that the improvement of public facilities such as hospitals with advanced types of equipment and schools with innovative technology have been not only strengthened citizens' living standards and but also satisfy their basic requirements. Vietnamese authority, for example, has been succeeded in establishing and providing free sports facilities in parks, schools, and hospitals where people can fulfill the happiness and satisfaction. The citizens in developing countries, for instance, always deeply treasure the infrastructures which are derived from their government due to the limit of funding resource on public facilities. As a good result, the benefits could be seen immediately after the investment. Despite the above facts, I still believe that the fields of arts are also significant for society. For example, artistic sculptures that have been created over time, help us to relive our cultural existence and reinforce the belief of history. Furthermore, the music song whether traditional folklores or modern pop songs have provided people relaxation and entertainment. Some art forms have been passed on generation to generation, public funding has been only spent on preservation and not cost as much money as other public facilities. In conclusion, I reckon that the government should spend money on both public facilities and art because the benefits of each sector are not only essential but also equal in society.
According to
many
people
,
public
funds should
be allocated
for
public
facilities such as schools and hospitals
rather
than
art
projects. Since the investment in
theatres
, painting, and sculptures
are considered
as unreasonable expenditure and waste of money. From my perspective, both
arts
and
public
facilities should
be taken
into the investment into account due to the equality of each position in our society.

First
and foremost, it cannot
be denied
that the improvement of
public
facilities such as hospitals with advanced types of equipment and schools with innovative technology have been not
only
strengthened citizens' living standards and
but
also
satisfy their basic requirements. Vietnamese authority,
for example
, has
been succeeded
in establishing and providing free sports facilities in parks, schools, and hospitals where
people
can fulfill the happiness and satisfaction. The citizens in
developing countries
,
for instance
, always
deeply
treasure the infrastructures which
are derived
from their
government
due to the limit of funding resource on
public
facilities. As a
good
result, the benefits could be
seen
immediately after the investment.

Despite the above facts, I
still
believe that the fields of
arts
are
also
significant for society.
For example
, artistic sculptures that have
been created
over time,
help
us to relive our cultural existence and reinforce the belief of history.
Furthermore
, the music song whether traditional
folklores
or modern pop songs have provided
people
relaxation and entertainment.
Some
art
forms have
been passed
on generation to generation,
public
funding has been
only
spent on preservation and not cost as much money as other
public
facilities.

In conclusion
, I reckon that the
government
should spend money on both
public
facilities and
art
because
the benefits of each sector are not
only
essential
but
also
equal in society.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on arts such as Music and Painting. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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