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Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than making individuals responsible for that. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than making individuals responsible for that. with this statement? v. 1
It is true that environmental issues are one of the biggest concerns for many developed as well as developing countries. In fact, I agree that governments and large companies should take initiatives to mitigate environmental damages instead of individual effort for two main reasons. Firstly, organisations have the greater facilities to recover from the environmental issue. Although it is important to change the mindset of each individual, governments have the fund and workforce to reduce the waste problem in the community. For example, it is important to create social awareness in society so that people can understand the necessity of cleanliness of the their surroundings. To do this, big companies can collaboratively arrange various events with governments by using their allocated funds and also they can deploy their own workforce who are well-trained to teach local people about how to re-use products rather than throwing it into the bins. This way they not only create an impact in the society but also people will be more concerned about their environment. Moreover, governments along with large companies have the ability to make rules and impose those among the people. People nowadays generate a considerable amount of wastage in an unregulated way in their daily life. If governments impose stricter rules on disposing materials, then people bound to obey those rules otherwise they might be fined. In addition, multinational companies also can create their own packaging rules by which their team bound to develop a system that is less harmful to the environment. At least by following these rules, as a citizen or employee people will be more devoted to consuming less disposal. In Conclusion, not only do organisations have the money and workforce but also they can force people to obey the rules so that people have a good habit of waste maintenance. Therefore, I completely agree that it is the governments or largest companies who can reverse the environmental challenge currently facing througout the world.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are one of the biggest concerns for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. In fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should take initiatives to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
damages
instead
of individual effort for two main reasons.

Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have the greater facilities to recover from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issue. Although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mindset of each individual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have the fund and workforce to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the waste problem in the community.
For example
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to create social awareness in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can understand the necessity of cleanliness of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their surroundings" or "the surroundings"?
the their surroundings
. To do this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
collaboratively
arrange various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
by using their allocated funds and
also
they can deploy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
workforce who are well-trained to teach local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about how to re-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
products
rather
than throwing it into the bins. This way they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create an impact in the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more concerned about their environment.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
along with large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and impose those among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays generate a considerable amount of wastage
Consider replacing "in an unregulated way" with the adverb for "unregulated"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unregulated way
in their daily life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
impose stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
on disposing materials, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bound to obey those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
otherwise
they might
be fined
.
In addition
, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
also
can create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
by which their team bound to develop a system
that is
less harmful to the environment. At least by following these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, as a citizen or employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more devoted to consuming less disposal.

In Conclusion
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
have the money and workforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to obey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit of waste maintenance.
Therefore
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who can reverse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
challenge
currently
facing
Possible spelling mistake found.
througout
the world.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than making individuals responsible for that. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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