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Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than expecting individuals to take responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v.2

Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than expecting individuals to take responsibility. with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 2
Conservation of environment is a common issue in today’s society. Both, the Governments and individuals put responsibility on each other’s shoulders, rather contribute their own part. It is widely believed that reversal of climatic destruction is the responsibility of the state along with giant industries, instead of blaming the common people. I strongly disagreed with this point of view, as I believed that individual’s efforts with government can bring significant positive changes, while persuading the governments and large companies to take protective measures. First of all, individuals can repair the environmental impairments working together as a community. This is because the effects of many small efforts quickly add up. For example, in the cities if once a week every person chose public transport rather using their private car, reduction of air pollution would be at great level. Moreover, cleaning of houses and neighbor is equally important. It is public obligation to dump the waste material in appropriate places and try to reduce the level of litter. However, it is true that action of single person cannot bring significant differences; many individuals taking the same action could bring a dramatic environmental change. Furthermore, the action of so many people can also influence government and corporations, due to the fact that people have power as both community and consumer. Public voice would have a great impact on huge companies and authorities. For instance, they can organize social media campaign to boycott certain products such as plastic industry, packaging food etc. There is no question that government and the large companies play role in protecting the natural environment. The environmentalists can raise their voice and draw the attention of authorities if they can see any company is dumping its waste material in water bodies. This public pressure enables the government to take serious actions against such companies. To conclude, although government and corporations should actively participate to rehabilitate the environment, yet individual efforts cannot be ignored. The communities could bring positive changes to improve the climatic damages as every person in society should take part in this matter to have safe and green land.
Conservation of environment is a common issue in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. Both, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
put responsibility on each other’s shoulders,
rather
contribute their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
part. It is
widely
believed that reversal of climatic destruction is the responsibility of the state along with giant industries,
instead
of blaming the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. I
strongly
disagreed with this point of view, as I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
efforts with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, while persuading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to take protective measures.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can repair the environmental impairments working together as a community. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the effects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
efforts
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up.
For example
, in the cities if once a week every person chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
rather
using their private car, reduction of air pollution would be at great level.
Moreover
, cleaning of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and neighbor is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
obligation to dump the waste material in appropriate places and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of litter.
However
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
of single person cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
significant differences;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
taking the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
a dramatic environmental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
also
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and corporations, due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have power as both community and consumer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
voice would have a great impact on huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and authorities.
For instance
, they can organize social media campaign to boycott certain products such as plastic industry, packaging food etc. There is no question that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
play role in protecting the natural environment. The environmentalists can raise their voice and draw the attention of authorities if they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is dumping its waste material in water bodies. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
pressure enables the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take serious actions against such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and corporations should
actively
participate to rehabilitate the environment,
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
efforts cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The communities could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the climatic damages as every person in society should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in this matter to have safe and green land.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than expecting individuals to take responsibility. with this statement? Give your opinion and relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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