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According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. v. 1
The holidays greatly, influence the human nature. As a general fact seen since the trend change that people nowdays, are looking for activities that are full of exctiment and fun rather than relaxing in faraway quiet town. I agree to the fact people are more into excitment and fun during holidays to make there time much more memorable and exciting. People all over the globe are looking for fun and excitment. Firstly, to highlight the nitty-gritty details of this change that might have resulted because of awarness and techonological advacements. Since, the movies and other media resources have highlighted the activities that burst the adrenaline rush and thus, develop the feeling of accomplishment. Forexample, activities like sky-diving or scuba-diving push out the person to breaks the elastic zones of the limits and therefore, breaking the ice of fear that one has developed in his inert. The individual all over the world wants to utilize the vacations time and make it memorable. Secondly, the sudden trend shift in the holiday season is due to the experiences the person shares in the life with friends and families making it a desire to be fulfilled. For instance, visit to the himilayas and mountain climibing will bring in the excitment and urge the desire to travel and look at the breathtaking beauty. Similarly, the activities promote a feeling of confidence and satisfaction that relaxes the person physically and psychologically. To conclude, the holiday’s trends have changed all over the world; with transformation from relaxing to different activities. It is agreed that people are more into activities that brings change and can leave a long lasting memory.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
greatly
, influence the human nature. As a general fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
since the trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowdays
, are looking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are full of
Possible spelling mistake found.
exctiment
and fun
rather
than relaxing in faraway quiet town. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more into
Possible spelling mistake found.
excitment
and fun during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
there time much more memorable and exciting.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
all over the globe are looking for fun and
Possible spelling mistake found.
excitment
.
Firstly
, to highlight the nitty-gritty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that might have resulted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
techonological
Possible spelling mistake found.
advacements
. Since, the movies and other media resources have highlighted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that burst the adrenaline rush and
thus
, develop the feeling of accomplishment.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Forexample
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like sky-diving or scuba-diving push out the person to breaks the elastic zones of the limits and
therefore
, breaking the ice of fear that one has developed in his inert.

The individual all over the world wants to utilize the vacations time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it memorable.
Secondly
, the sudden trend shift in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
season is due to the experiences the person shares in the life with friends and families making it a desire to
be fulfilled
.
For instance
, visit to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
himilayas
and mountain
Possible spelling mistake found.
climibing
will bring in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
excitment
and urge the desire to travel and look at the breathtaking beauty.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
promote a feeling of confidence and satisfaction that relaxes the person
physically
and
psychologically
.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday’s
trends have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
all over the world; with transformation from relaxing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
memory.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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