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Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. v. 2
Ancient buildings are considered as a part the of culture of the nation. It is a controversial issue these days that whether the authority should expand the money to restore to those antique edifices or they provide money for constructing new houses and streets. From my point of view, government must take care of heritage sites as well as contribute to the advancement on new residents and lanes. To begin with, it is really significant to protect out cultural sites which are a source of economic growth of a country. For example, in Bangladesh, there are myriads of old buildings such as ‘Lalbug Kella’, ‘Tara Masjid’, and so on, to name but a few. If these heritage sites are not repaired, the tourists will not visit these sites. Hence, the finance comes from tourism would be halted and eventually, the GDP growth could be slow down. Moreover, if the bureaucrats of the region could financially invest money on rebuilding these ancient sites, this could pave the way of earning money and fame of the country. On the other hand, the government must invest money on building new roads and house beside reconstructing the ancient building. The reason is that if they only vouchsafe money on ancient building, general people, who live in that area would be suffering. For instance, if roads are not repaired properly, they could not move and run the vehicles on the road. Furthermore, authority should also invest money on building new residential areas, since it enhances the security of general people. Therefore, concentrating on building new lines and multistory building is pivotal for the leader of the society. In conclusion, I think that the government must divide their revenue for both reconstructing of the ancient building as well as road and building in general public. This is because, if the leader of the society focus on erecting the houses of general people than country could confront to a huge loss in the economic growth of the sector of tourism.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are considered
as a part the of culture of the nation. It is a controversial issue these days that whether the authority should expand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to restore to those antique
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
edifices or
they provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and streets. From my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
as well
as contribute to the advancement on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residents and lanes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
really
significant to protect out cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
which are a source of economic growth of a country.
For example
, in Bangladesh, there are myriads of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Lalbug
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kella
’, ‘Tara Masjid’, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few. If these heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are not repaired, the tourists will not visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
Hence
, the finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from tourism would
be halted
and
eventually
, the GDP growth could be slow down.
Moreover
, if the bureaucrats of the region could
financially
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on rebuilding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, this could pave the way of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and fame of the country.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
beside reconstructing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. The reason is that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
vouchsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in that area would be suffering.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are not repaired
properly
, they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and run the vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
.
Furthermore
, authority should
also
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residential areas, since it enhances the security of general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, concentrating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lines and multistory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is pivotal for the leader of the society.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
divide their revenue for both reconstructing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in
Consider using "public".
general public
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, if the leader of the society focus on erecting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
of general
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
than country could confront to a huge loss in the economic growth of the sector of tourism.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Government spending on restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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