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Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. v. 2
Offenders do stupendous violation for the lack of schooling. To reduce such criminal activities, criminals have to learn the lesson from teacher residing in jail. As a result, they would be able to get work after passing their imprisonment. I, holistically, agree with this point of view, but some other measures must be taken to minimize the criminality as well as the building better future of criminals. To begin with, it is well said that all the criminals should provide better erudition when they are in the prison. This is because, after leaving confinement, they will be able to build their career with their skills. This, also, invariably, helps not only to do corruption again, but it also succours other people who have intention to do evil. For example, in the USA, studies have shown that 99% of crime rate has been decreased, since the government is focusing on education of the offenders when they lock at the four walls. Therefore, criminal minds are participating in the field of businesses and jobs, other people are also getting inspired by them. Other more solution to the crime rate would be that from early childhood days, teachers should teach about the detrimental effects of committing transgression so that the authority must include criminal books to the school curriculum. The countermeasure would, probably, curb the crime rate, for instance, that offender who murdered someone, he/she must sentence to death. The reason is that other people would learn a great lesson of committing heinous crimes. Moreover, the government has to be strict to a certain extent in declaring punishment such as long life imprisonment, imprisonment with hard work beside capital punishment. Ergo, only training in prison is not the solution to educate criminal, another method must be applied to reduce the lawlessness. To conclude, although most of the offenders have limited erudition so that they do atrocious work. It is a better measure that teaching in prison may help them to limit the scandal and enhances better future. However, from my perspective, beside this, child education, severe punishment would be the other best solution to this menace.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Offenders
do stupendous violation for the lack of schooling. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn the lesson from teacher residing in jail.
As a result
, they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work after passing their imprisonment. I,
holistically
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to minimize the criminality
as well
as the building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future of criminals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is well said that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
erudition when they are in the prison. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, after leaving confinement, they will be able to build their career with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This,
also
,
invariably
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to do corruption again,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have intention to do evil.
For example
, in the USA, studies have shown that 99% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has
been decreased
, since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is focusing on education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
when they lock at the four walls.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
minds are participating in the field of businesses and jobs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
also
getting inspired by them.

Other more solution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate would be that from early childhood days, teachers should teach about the detrimental effects of committing transgression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
books to the school curriculum. The countermeasure would,
probably
, curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate,
for instance
, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offender
who murdered someone, he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
sentence to death. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would learn a great lesson of committing heinous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be strict to a certain extent in declaring punishment such as long life imprisonment, imprisonment with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work beside capital punishment. Ergo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
training in prison is not the solution to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
, another method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be applied
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the lawlessness.

To conclude
, although most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
have limited erudition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do atrocious work. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
measure that teaching in prison may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to limit the scandal and enhances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future.
However
, from my perspective, beside this, child education, severe punishment would be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
best solution to this menace.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Study shows that many criminals have a low level education. For that reason, some people believe that the bast way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison, so that they can get a job when they leave prison. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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