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Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.11

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 11
With the advancement in technology, social media platforms are becoming an indispensable part of the contemporary society. People prefer socialising through these platforms than meeting in person. This is both a boon and a bane situation which will be discussed in this essay. On one hand, the growth of various social media has affected the lifestyle of individuals. It has become a part and parcel of their life to communicate with old and new friends through these social sites as people from around the world can be found on sites like Facebook, Instagram, etc. Moreover, social media is a fast and a cheaper way of socialising without travelling to a specific place to meet people. On the contrary, this revolution has adverse effects too. Firstly, due to just online chatting majorly through messages, people nowadays lack confidence in talking in public as they are more confined within their personal space. Secondly, the bond between people has reduced a lot as they seldom meet with each other, thus resulting in fake relations. Last but not the least, the youth has started trusting and dating only through social media which sometimes results in falling in love with a wrong person. For instance, my friend found a compatible guy for her over Facebook, but later on he cheated upon her and this completely devastated her. This was not the case in the ancient world. People used to meet and then find a suitable match for themselves. To conclude, it is observed that the technology has given an ease of communicating, but relations are dying out gradually because of loss of face-to-face interaction as it is correctly said facial expressions play a crucial role in judging a person. Hence, both of these should go hand in hand.
With the advancement in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms are becoming an indispensable part of the contemporary society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
prefer
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
these platforms than meeting in person. This is both a boon and a bane situation which will
be discussed
in this essay.

On one hand, the growth of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the lifestyle of individuals. It has become a part and parcel of their life to communicate with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the world can
be found
on sites like Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and a cheaper way of
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
without travelling to a specific place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the contrary
, this revolution has adverse effects too.
Firstly
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
online chatting
majorly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
messages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays lack confidence in talking in public as they are more confined within their personal space.
Secondly
, the bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
a lot as they seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with each other,
thus
resulting in fake relations. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the youth has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
trusting and dating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
results in falling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
person.
For instance
, my friend found a compatible guy for her over Facebook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later on he cheated upon her and this completely devastated her. This was not the case in the ancient world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and then find a suitable match for themselves.

To conclude
, it
is observed
that the technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of communicating,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
relations are dying out
gradually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of loss of face-to-face interaction as it is
correctly
said facial expressions play a crucial role in judging a person.
Hence
, both of these should go hand in hand.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Other think that face-to-face interaction is essential. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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