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Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 2
It is often stated that more money should be invested on academics than on extra curricular activities by the Government. In my opinion, both are equally important, therefore, I disagree with the above statement. Firstly, recreation is important for the mental health. The famous saying " All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" applies to this situation. If an individual spends the whole day studying, he or she will not learn to interact with others which could lead to personality disorders. For example, taking part in sports would develop team spirit or participating in the Art's and Crafts would improve their creative side. In addition, it also assists in improving behaviour and positivity. That is why, it is important that education and recreation is given equal importance, as it would help in the overall mental development of individuals. Secondly, engaging in activities, assists in improving the physical self. Recreation, especially outdoor ones, encourages good physical health by increasing stamina, flexibility, endurance and body strength, to name a few. Moreover, doing physical activities at an early age would imbibe a culture of discipline. For instance, a child who is involved in a sport and regularly practices the same would develop a routine over a period of time. This practice would, in the long run, have a positive impact on the child's lifestyle. Due to which it is important that extra curriculum are given the same value as academics. In light of the above, I strongly believe that recreation should be given the same value as education, as it helps in keeping good mental and physical health.
It is
often
stated that more money should
be invested
on academics than on
extra curricular
activities by the
Government
. In my opinion, both are
equally
important
,
therefore
, I disagree with the above statement.

Firstly
,
recreation
is
important
for the mental health. The
famous
saying
"
All work and no play
makes
Jack a dull boy
"
applies to
this situation. If an individual spends the whole day studying, he or she will not learn to interact with others which could lead to personality disorders.
For example
, taking part in sports would develop team spirit or participating in the Art's and Crafts would
improve
their creative side.
In addition
, it
also
assists in improving
behaviour
and positivity.
That is
why, it is
important
that education and
recreation
is
given
equal importance, as it would
help
in the
overall
mental development of individuals.

Secondly
, engaging in activities, assists in improving the
physical
self.
Recreation
,
especially
outdoor ones, encourages
good
physical
health by increasing stamina, flexibility, endurance and body strength, to name a few.
Moreover
, doing
physical
activities at an early age would imbibe a culture of discipline.
For instance
, a child who
is involved
in a sport and
regularly
practices the same would develop a routine over a period of time. This practice would, in the long run, have a
positive
impact on the child's lifestyle. Due to which it is
important
that extra curriculum are
given
the same value as academics.

In light of the above, I
strongly
believe that
recreation
should be
given
the same value as education, as it
helps
in keeping
good
mental and
physical
health.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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