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Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. with this opinion? v. 2
Nowadays, there is a debate on which aspect the governments have to spend their money. Although billions of dollars have been invested in support of space programs, some people believe that dollars would be better spent on research into improvements in the human health. Investment of money in the health of human is superior than space exploration, which is my opinion. This essay will elaborate more on the supporting ideas to this opinion. There is no denying how putting dollars in improving of human fitness saves many people's lives. That is a fact, scientists and governments spend funds to find new treatments for many epidemics. If scientists could not find new drugs for these diseases, many people would have died. Furthermore, these experiments make human beings more resistant to illnesses. Not only that, but also, this leads to the creation of new job opportunities. For instance, the last Harvard university research has concluded the death rate of people decreases by 10%. Therefore, investing of money in human health improvement is crucial to guard people's lives. However, it is better to spend money in human beings, putting it in space programs has lots of advantages. Firstly, it allows scientists to know more about the galaxy. Secondly, it creates plenty of job offers all over the world. Thirdly, it plays a paramount role in the human civilization. For example, if the man spends more money on space programs, he will be able to get in touch with other civilizations. For these outcomes, it is important to spend money on space exploration. In conclusion, it is becoming increasingly trend to determine where governments have to spend their money. While most of countries around the world put money in the space field, some people think that it is more beneficial to spend it on saving human's lives. From my point of view, spending money on both human health and space exploration has many benefits, but it is better to invest it in improvements in the people's health
Nowadays, there is a debate on which aspect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Although billions of dollars have
been invested
in support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that dollars would be better spent on research into improvements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration, which is my opinion. This essay will elaborate more on the supporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to this opinion.

There is no denying how putting dollars in improving of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
fitness saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
That is
a fact, scientists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
funds to find new treatments for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
epidemics. If scientists could not find new drugs for these diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
Furthermore
, these experiments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings more resistant to illnesses. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, this leads to the creation of new job opportunities.
For instance
, the last
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Harvard university
research has concluded the death rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decreases by 10%.
Therefore
, investing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
improvement is crucial to guard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

However
, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, putting it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs has lots of advantages.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
scientists to know more about the galaxy.
Secondly
, it creates
Possible agreement error. The noun job seems to be countable; consider using: "plenty of jobs".
plenty of job
offers all over the world.
Thirdly
, it plays a paramount role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
civilization.
For example
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
programs, he will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with other civilizations. For these outcomes, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration.

In conclusion
, it is becoming
increasingly
trend to determine where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. While
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the countries") or simply say "most countries".
most of countries
around the world put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it on saving human's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. From my point of view, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is better to invest it in improvements in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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