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It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v.8

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 8
It is commonly assumed that a few numbers of folks are born with unique talents such as sportsmen or a great musician. Conversely, other individuals realize that talents can be gained by experience and hard work. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion. On the one hand, a few public thinks that without God's gift, a person can gain talent. To begin with, working hard is the most useful fact to become a great player. When a child plays an outdoor game frequently, they can achieve bunches of knowledge about athletics. For instance, my brother is a national cricket player in Bangladesh because of his hard work. Besides, regular training is another significant point which cannot be disregarded as well. The parents can make their children professional singers by admitting music school. Hence, children are performing several music competitions and become popular. On the other hand, some peoples believe that talent is a born gift. Firstly, carrying extraordinary genes is the most convenient fact. When a child contains exclusive genes in their DNA sequence, they can carry natural skills. For example, the researchers are indicating an article that, the footballer Messi contains special genes in his chromosomes, which make him a great player around the world. However, I realize that those people who involve not only practicing but also training, they can become a unique musician. To conclude, although some children bear unique qualities from their DNA. Still, I assume that hard-working and proper guidelines can make people famous.
It is
commonly
assumed that a few numbers of folks
are born
with unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
such as sportsmen or a great musician.
Conversely
, other individuals realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
can
be gained
by experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. In this essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

On the one hand, a
Possible agreement error. The noun public seems to be uncountable; consider using: "little public".
few public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that without God's gift, a person can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is the most useful fact to become a great player. When a child plays an outdoor game
frequently
, they can achieve bunches of knowledge about athletics.
For instance
, my brother is a national cricket player in Bangladesh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
Besides
, regular training is another significant point which cannot
be disregarded
as well
. The parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their children professional singers by admitting music school.
Hence
, children are performing several music competitions and become popular.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peoples believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is a born gift.
Firstly
, carrying extraordinary genes is the most convenient fact. When a child contains exclusive genes in their DNA sequence, they can carry natural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, the researchers are indicating an article that, the footballer Messi contains special genes in his chromosomes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a great player around the world.
However
, I realize that those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who involve not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
practicing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
training, they can become a unique musician.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children bear unique qualities from their DNA.
Still
, I assume that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and proper guidelines can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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