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Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. v. 2
It is said that government funding for education should give preference to science-based subjects over others, in an attempt to help boost a country’s future development and progress. Although an increase in scientific developments can have many benefits to national progress, this essay disagrees that science is the primary contributor. There is no question that the advent of modern science has brought with it a number of improvements to the way that countries and societies function. For example, increases in electrical and computer based technologies have led to much more streamlined and efficient workplaces. Computers and computerized machinery can now do the work of what would have previously been carried out by humans, allowing greater efficiency and higher productivity output. Another benefit that modern science has granted is the development of renewable energy. Sources of renewable energy, such as solar and wind generated power, are beginning to help ease the planet’s reliance on fossil fuels. That being said, an increase in scientific education and development must not be the main measure of a country’s progress. It can be seen that the study of many other disciplines of education can also attribute to a countries progress. Take, for example, the Arts and Humanities. Subjects such as History and Philosophy have allowed us to gain a better understanding of humanity and can help to gain more insight into how we can move forward as a race. Other subjects such as the Arts, allow societies and individuals to express themselves creatively through mediums such as music, film and other art forms. It can be argued that this can also help to improve the quality of people’s lives and therefore help towards a countries overall development. In conclusion, although developments in science have led to many beneficial advantages for most countries, science alone is not the key contributor to a country’s progress. In my opinion, most countries would benefit greater from a more well-rounded education, with emphasis on all disciplines, not only that of science.
It
is said
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should give preference to science-based subjects over others, in an attempt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
boost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. Although an increase in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, this essay disagrees that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is the primary contributor.

There is no question that the advent of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has brought with it a number of improvements to the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and societies function.
For example
, increases in electrical and computer based technologies have led to much more streamlined and efficient workplaces. Computers and computerized machinery can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
do the work of what would have previously
been carried
out by humans, allowing greater efficiency and higher productivity output. Another benefit that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has granted is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of renewable energy. Sources of renewable energy, such as solar and wind generated power, are beginning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the planet’s reliance on fossil fuels.

That
being said
, an increase in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not be the main measure of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the study of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disciplines of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
also
attribute to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. Take,
for example
, the Arts and Humanities. Subjects such as History and Philosophy have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to gain a better understanding of humanity and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to gain more insight into how we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward as a race.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
subjects such as the Arts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
societies and individuals to express themselves
creatively
through mediums such as music, film and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
art forms. It can
be argued
that this can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
overall
development.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
have led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial advantages for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
alone is not the key contributor to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. In my opinion, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would benefit greater from a more well-rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, with emphasis on all disciplines, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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