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Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. with this statement. v. 1
The type of subject to prefer for a country to prosper is debatable. Some opine that in order to achieve what is termed economic development, the government has to pour money into the science education. I, however, advocate the notion that other disciplines also hold their own merits, and thus should be valued as much as the former one. It is incontrovertible that science has revolutionized the whole world by dent of its ground-breaking discoveries; the scientists are now able to do what was nearly impossible many years ago. To illustrate, many people use the mobile phone technology in order to communicate with their relatives, living far away from them, instead of travelling to them. Likewise, with the invention of computers, people are capable of doing the required tasks within in minutes that otherwise would have taken almost the entire day. Citing the significance of these developments, some argue that in over to put the country on the track of prosperity and progress, it is rather essential that the government should allot a major portion of the budget for promoting the education of the science subjects. In addition to aforementioned argument, I also believe that to get ourselves familiarized with the other subjects is as important as the science. Take the humanitarian subjects as an example. It has long been acknowledged that no matter how much important the science may be for us to study, an iota of the humanity is always expected from us as being the most superior living being on the earth. Although studying science may foster innovation or increase the productivity of some businesses, it still fails to instill an insight regarding the various aspects of mannerism and attitude or behavior in order to successfully conduct such business on a long run. And there, the humanitarian subjects step in. Not only they tell about the myriad aspects regarding the conventions and codes of conduct, they but also impart knowledge of how to live and respect each other, which is the essence of almost all types of businesses- the fundamental unit determining the growth of the country. This clearly demonstrates that learning science alone is not sufficient. In conclusion, while acknowledging the significance of studying science, I contend that the other disciplines like the study of the humanitarian subjects are also of paramount importance, and thus the government should consider investing in on these spheres of education as well.
The type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to prefer for a country to prosper is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
opine that in order to achieve what
is termed
economic development, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pour money into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education. I,
however
, advocate the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disciplines
also
hold their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits, and
thus
should
be valued
as much as the former one.

It is incontrovertible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has revolutionized the whole world by dent of its ground-breaking discoveries; the scientists are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to do what was
nearly
impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the mobile phone technology in order to communicate with their relatives, living far away from them,
instead
of travelling to them.
Likewise
, with the invention of computers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are capable of doing the required tasks within in minutes that
otherwise
would have taken almost the entire day. Citing the significance of these developments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that in over to put the country on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of prosperity and progress, it is
rather
essential that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allot a major portion of the budget for promoting the education of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
subjects.

In addition
to aforementioned argument, I
also
believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ourselves familiarized with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. Take the humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as an example. It has long
been acknowledged
that no matter how much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
may be for us to study, an iota of the humanity is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
from us as being the most superior living being on the earth. Although studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
may foster innovation or increase the productivity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businesses, it
still
fails to instill an insight regarding the various aspects of mannerism and attitude or behavior in order to
successfully
conduct such business on a long run. And there, the humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
step in. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the myriad aspects regarding the conventions and codes of conduct, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impart knowledge of how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and respect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, which is the essence of almost all types of businesses- the fundamental unit determining the growth of the country. This
clearly
demonstrates that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
alone is not sufficient.

In conclusion
, while acknowledging the significance of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, I contend that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disciplines like the study of the humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
of paramount importance, and
thus
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should consider investing in on these spheres of education
as well
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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