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Government should invest on teaching science subjects rather than other subject for country develop and progress To what extend do you agree or not agree v.1

Government should invest on teaching science subjects rather than other subject for country develop and progress 1
Today, large numbers of young adults choose to study at their local university while others prefer to go to another city. Although studying locally has some benefits, there are also some drawbacks that are worth considering. I, myself, had chosen the path to study abroad and enjoy the positive side of it. There are two main benefits of studying locally. First of all, the student main focus will be learning their best without worrying about the daily necessity. As they will be living under the same roof with their family, most certainly the household chore, such as laundry and cooking will be taken care of. Another positive side, they do not need to get to know the new environment, because they have known the neighbourhood since they were a kid. On the flip side, various negative points may be noted. The undergraduate who hit the road and migrate to another city for university are forced to be more independent in comparison with their local peer. They will have to learn to stand on their own two feet. Moreover, being in their comfort zone will not help them to experience life’s harsh reality. As a result, they might have difficulties later on because of having their head in the clouds. In conclusion, there are some advantages going to university locally. For instance, being surrounded by strong support system of families and close friends. However, living in the comfort of the parent’s nest might not be all roses as they are being too dependent. For this reason, they will face more problem in the future.
Today
, large numbers of young adults choose to study at their local university while others prefer to go to another city. Although studying
locally
has
some
benefits, there are
also
some
drawbacks that are worth considering. I, myself, had chosen the path to study abroad and enjoy the
positive
side of it.

There are two main benefits of studying
locally
.
First of all
, the student main focus will be learning their best without worrying about the daily necessity. As they will be living under the same roof with their family, most
certainly
the household chore, such as laundry and cooking will
be taken
care of. Another
positive
side, they do not need to
get
to know the new environment,
because
they have known the
neighbourhood
since they were a kid.

On the flip side, various
negative
points may
be noted
. The undergraduate who hit the road and migrate to another city for university
are forced
to be more independent
in comparison
with their local peer. They will
have to
learn to stand on their
own
two feet.
Moreover
, being in their comfort zone will not
help
them to experience life’s harsh reality.
As a result
, they might have difficulties later on
because
of having their head in the clouds.

In conclusion
, there are
some
advantages going to university
locally
.
For instance
,
being surrounded
by strong support system of families and close friends.
However
, living in the comfort of the parent’s nest might not be all roses as they are being too dependent.
For this reason
, they will face more problem in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should invest on teaching science subjects rather than other subject for country develop and progress 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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