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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that government should invest more moneu in science education than other subjects to develop the country. v.1

that government should invest more moneu in science education than other subjects to develop the country. v. 1
Every country would has tendency to raise fund for students related to science rather than other aspects because of the fact that governments strongly believe that these fields are much more essential to their country' s developments. From my point of view, I think that we should invest a reasonable amount of money in all aspects. On the one hand, education of science plays a necessary role for several reasons: first, larger expenditure kn scientific subjects boosts production, healthcare, quality, transportation and all other aspects of life, hence, science is one of the major contributors to the prosperity of a nation; secondly, investment in science education highly trains intellectual workforce to push the country forward as in fact, the talent is considered to be the most important factors for a country' s development. On the other hand, excessive focus kn education of science may make students disregard other subjects, in particular, they aren' t provided with comprehensive knowledge. Next, undue attention paid to teaching science subjects creates imbalanced distribution of workforce. In other words, there has to be the shortage of labour working in non-scientific fields such as lawyers, journalists and so on. In conclusion, governments should support every subject with amount of money on balance to develop a country' s future. Therefore, they need a comprehensive understanding for a better life.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
tendency to raise fund for students related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
strongly
believe that these fields are much more essential to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s developments. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should invest a reasonable amount of money in all aspects.

On the one hand, education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
plays a necessary role for several reasons:
first
, larger expenditure kn scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
boosts production, healthcare, quality, transportation and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of life,
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is one of the major contributors to the prosperity of a nation;
secondly
, investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
education
highly
trains intellectual workforce to push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
forward as in fact, the talent
is considered
to be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s development.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, excessive focus kn education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students disregard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
in particular
, they
Possible spelling mistake found.
aren&
#039; t provided with comprehensive knowledge.
Next
, undue attention paid to teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
creates imbalanced distribution of workforce. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be the shortage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
working in non-scientific fields such as lawyers, journalists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should support every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
with amount of money on balance to develop a
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s future.
Therefore
, they need a comprehensive understanding for a better life.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay that government should invest more moneu in science education than other subjects to develop the country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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