Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 2
The homes are the most indispensable aspect of any human being. They provide essentially the shelter and an area where the human can stay protective environment. Many people have the opinion that building owners are responsible for the protective standards of a building. In this essay, the reasons why both builders and government are equally responsible for the safety of the building are discussed. The individual who make the building should select a safe and protective architecture of it. The architecture of the building should be selected in such a way that it includes risk-free standards. For instance, when the blueprint of a building is created, the necessary exit-path in case of fire should be reserved. The architectural design of a building is decided by the owner. Therefore, the builder must be more inclined to bring security features in the building. Once the building is ready and occupied by people, the local authority must make necessary arrangements for well-being. Since the administrator is authorized to develop safety features in and around the building, the society-caretaker is also responsible for the welfare of a building. For example, a fire brigade unit can be established by the authority near a major residential area so the fire extinguisher unit can reach on time. Several features are developed in the surrounding locality by the government to provide safety. In my opinion, both the administrator and the building-maker are equally responsible for the protective standards of a building. If a constructor performs his tasks correctly by providing all international features, then the wellbeing of people living in the building will be assured. The government also has a role by establishing necessary features around the building to ensure the safety of individuals. In conclusion the builders as well as the government are equally responsible for the safety and security of a building.
The homes are the most indispensable aspect of any human being. They provide
essentially
the shelter and an area where the human can stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protective
environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
owners are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protective
standards of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. In this essay, the reasons why both builders and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
are discussed
.

The individual who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should select a safe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protective
architecture of it. The architecture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should
be selected
in such a way that it includes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-free standards.
For instance
, when the blueprint of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is created
, the necessary exit-path in case of fire should
be reserved
. The architectural design of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is decided
by the owner.
Therefore
, the builder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more inclined to bring security features in the building.

Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is ready and occupied by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the local authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
necessary arrangements for well-being. Since the administrator
is authorized
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
features in and around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
, the society-caretaker is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the welfare of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
For example
, a fire brigade unit can
be established
by the authority near a major residential area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the fire extinguisher unit can reach on time. Several features
are developed
in the surrounding locality by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide safety.

In my opinion, both the administrator and the building-maker are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protective
standards of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
. If a constructor performs his tasks
correctly
by providing all international features, then the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will
be assured
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
has a role by establishing necessary features around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
to ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of individuals.
In conclusion
the builders
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
are
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and security of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Government investment in the visual arts, the kind you commonly see in art galleries, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts