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You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v.1

You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 1
In the twenty first century, many societies opt for wasting money on their marriage ceremonies for leisure. Whilst a sector of the society claims that the newly married couples may suffer from financial hardships, others have a diverse opinion. I fully agree with the formal belief, because this social trend leads to a detrimental impact on the financial stability of the husbands and wives, and this will be manifested in the following paragraphs. At the beginning of the provided rationale, although the pricey wedding parties could make blessed memories, the bride and the groom may struggle from myriads of financial difficulties. In other words, the expensive weddings affect negatively their monetary stability if the married ones do not put a limited budget for this ceremony. A prime example is an article published in the New York Times Magazine has shown that approximately 63 percent of the American couples are suffering from financial problems after they had spent their funds on marriage ceremonies. Hence, governments are advised to launch awareness campaigns to educate the newly spouses the devastating effect on their stability. In accordance with the previous ideas that were mentioned, when the newly couples spend their finance in their parties, their offspring may suffer, in the near future, from lack of money. This means that this social phenomenon could lead to family separation. For instance, in Egypt, the Egyptian Government published statistics revealed that every five minutes have one divorce case, and the foremost reason is the lack of monetary gains. Thus, relatives should advise the married spouses to save money for the crisis. To recapitulate, if the newly partners waste their finance in their weddings, they will have financial hardships, and this claim will lead to divorce.
In the twenty
first
century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies opt for wasting money on their marriage ceremonies for leisure. Whilst a sector of the society claims that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
married couples may suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
hardships, others have a diverse opinion. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the formal belief,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this social trend leads to a detrimental impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
stability of the husbands and wives, and this will
be manifested
in the following paragraphs.

At the beginning of the provided rationale, although the pricey wedding parties could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
blessed memories, the bride and the groom may struggle from myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
difficulties.
In other words
, the expensive weddings affect
negatively
their monetary stability if the married ones do not put a limited budget for this ceremony. A prime example is an article published in the New York Times Magazine has shown that approximately 63 percent of the American couples are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
problems after they had spent their funds on marriage ceremonies.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are advised
to launch awareness campaigns to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
spouses the devastating effect on their stability.

In accordance with the previous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
were mentioned
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
couples spend their finance in their parties, their offspring may suffer, in the near future, from lack of money. This means that this social phenomenon could lead to family separation.
For instance
, in Egypt, the Egyptian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
published statistics revealed that every five minutes have one divorce case, and the foremost reason is the lack of monetary gains.
Thus
, relatives should advise the married spouses to save money for the crisis.

To recapitulate, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newly
partners waste their finance in their weddings, they will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
hardships, and this claim will lead to divorce.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You are planning to go to a music concert in your town and would like a friend to accompany you Write a letter to invite your friend to the concert you are planning to go to In your letter say what the content of the music concert is where and when is the v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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