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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v.28

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 28
The art, music and theatre constitute an integral part of the culture of any country. The government often found supporting these by arranging a requisite amount of funds but for some spending on these activities should ideally be utilised for the welfare of the country’s people as it otherwise does not serve any good purpose. I think there is nothing wrong in supporting arts of a country and government is the ideal body who should do this. With globalisation, often the culture of developing countries transforms to adopt the traits of developed countries. For example traditional street plays in India are things of past and people are more inclined toward watching movies, a culture from the western countries. This poses a threat to the existence of an intrinsic regional culture of a country which actually defines the spirit and uniqueness of the country. So it is the responsibility of the government to support traditional art, music and theatre which tends to carry the cultural heritage of a country. Every year a lot is spent by the government to promote regional art, music and theatre and this is something which people suggest is a waste of money. Prima facie it is correct, but on the other hand, it helps promote these features of a country which help the government to attract more and more tourists from other country and it also acts as the livelihood of the people who are solely dependent on these skills. For instance, nation foreign exchange has risen 20%, since the last five years, thanks to the increasing promotion by the government. To summarise, it may involve a huge cost for a nation to support art, music and theatre but it should be seen as an investment for supporting the unique heritage of the country.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
constitute an integral part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found supporting these by arranging a requisite amount of funds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spending on these activities should
ideally
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as it
otherwise
does not serve any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
purpose. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is the ideal body who should do this.

With
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
transforms to adopt the traits of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
traditional street plays in India are things of past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more inclined toward watching movies, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This poses a threat to the existence of an intrinsic regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which actually defines the spirit and uniqueness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to support traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
which tends to carry the cultural heritage of a country.

Every year a lot
is spent
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to promote regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and this is something which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest is a waste of money.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Prima
Possible spelling mistake found.
facie
it is correct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
promote these features of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to attract more and more tourists from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it
also
acts as the livelihood of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
solely
dependent on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, nation foreign exchange has risen 20%, since the last five years, thanks to the increasing promotion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it may involve a huge cost for a nation to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an investment for supporting the unique heritage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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