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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v.25

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 25
In some countries, the higher tax incomes come from arts such as movie industry, music or theatre business. In this regard, arts are beneficial investments for the government. On the other hand, arts, such as music are the food for soul and government should patronise this sector. Moreover, in big countries like America and United kingdom arts are one of the biggest earning sources for those countries. The fact that, many people want to come to these countries because their arts are famous and the best in the world. Due to the fact movie industries, music or theatre has been encouraged the government for tax. Indeed, it can help the government to invest some money to public services as well. Hence, those countries are famous for music and movies and its imposing in the world and have become destiny for many people around the world for gaining their passion in arts. Undoubtedly, in the United States of America, we can see that musician, an actor or an actress have higher incomes but they should taxable for the government that is  a policy not only in this country but also in some countries that have good arts too. For this reason to develop some areas, for instance, healthcare, public transportation, etc. The government should encourage the artists and arts. Clearly, to give excellent service for American civil society, arts should not be ignored. Furthermore, taxpayers awareness among arts industries are higher and which is rapidly changing the economic growth of America. Arts are the important media to give profits for the USA whereas in the UK too. Arts represent the identity, uniqueness, heritage and reflection of a nation.   In brief, investing in arts is by means a waste of money, rather it is a good investment both for economic growth and cultural enrichment.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the higher tax incomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as movie industry,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
business. In this regard,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are beneficial investments for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are the food for soul and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'patronise' is British English.
patronise
this sector.

Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like America and
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are one of the biggest earning sources for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The fact that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and the best in the world. Due to the fact movie industries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
has
been encouraged
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for tax.
Indeed
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to public services
as well
.
Hence
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and movies and its imposing in the world and have become destiny for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world for gaining their passion in arts.

Undoubtedly
, in the United States of America, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that musician, an actor or an actress have higher incomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
The word 'taxable' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
should taxable
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that is
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
a policy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
too.
For this reason
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas,
for instance
, healthcare, public transportation, etc. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should encourage the artists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
Clearly
, to give excellent service for American civil society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
Furthermore
, taxpayers awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
industries are higher and which is
rapidly
changing the economic growth of America.

Arts are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
media to give profits for the USA whereas in the UK too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
represent the identity, uniqueness, heritage and reflection of a nation.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
In brief
, investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is by means a waste of money,
rather
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investment both for economic growth and cultural enrichment.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. The government must invest this money in public services instead. v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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