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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 2
The plan of how to spend money in the government has always created a great deal of discussion. Some people believe that money should be financed in public services and it is unnecessary to invest in the arts, such as music and theatre. Although I am aware of the great importance of Public services, arts should not be neglected. On the one hand, public services determines the quality of life in the society. Some of the most important requirements of people are included in public services such as public schools, developed transportation system, medical services and etc. To be fair and square, man can survive without theatre salon, but without hospitals, his health will be challenged. Hence, the government should adequately finance on public services in order to prepare an acceptable life level for people. On the other hand, music and arts are inseparable parts of a society's culture. Art is a common language between people all around the world. There has been a significant increase in the number of people who are interested in fields such as academic music. The arts also can be considered as an economic sector since it attracts tourists. Italy is a good example of an artistic country with high level tourism. So, ignoring the investment in arts such as music and theatre can be harmful for people's feelings. To put it in a nutshell, according to the priorities, the majority of budget should be allocated for public services and also because of the society's intellectual development funding in the arts is not a waste of money.
The plan of how to spend money in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has always created a great deal of discussion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that money should
be financed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and it is unnecessary to invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. Although I am aware of the great importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should not
be neglected
.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
determines the quality of life in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
requirements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are included
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
schools, developed transportation system, medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and square,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can survive without
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
salon,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
without hospitals, his health will
be challenged
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
adequately
finance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in order to prepare an acceptable life level for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are inseparable parts of a society's culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a common language between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all around the world. There has been a significant increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are interested
in fields such as academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
can
be considered
as an economic sector since it attracts tourists. Italy is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of an artistic country with high level tourism.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, ignoring the investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
can be harmful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's feelings.

To put it in a nutshell, according to the priorities, the majority of budget should
be allocated
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the society's intellectual development funding in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not a waste of money.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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